nobody puts baby in a corner

only 3 days until my birthday!

AND it's the 20th anniversary of dirty dancing (nope, don't feel old at all!) ... they've released the movie on the BIG SCREEN across the country for TWO DAYS ONLY. may 1st and 2nd! joe made dinner plans on my birthday, so we can't go that night ... but we can go on the 1st. i had to BEG to get him to agree to go with me. (btw, kristine and tim wouldn't go either ... so poor joe!). i can't wait! i've never seen it on the big screen!

WOOHOO!

day 26

fuck the allergist.
he's fired.
saw him again and now i'm on 3 antihistamines ... still swollen.

ate chilies and dairy ... no change.

maybe i'm allergic to him!

day 22

despite taking 2 antihistamines (strong ones) and sacrificing chilies (and now dairy) my lips are still swollen.

it's day 22.

eggs

there is an expiration date on eggs.
who knew?

this is gonna hurt

my upper lip has been swollen for at least two weeks.
it looks like i've had a botched collagen treatment.
the cause - i'm allergic to something.

well, duh.

so after ANOTHER visit to the allergist, he's decided that i am not to eat anything spiced with chilis, in ANY form, for two weeks. we think it's some kind of chili that's causing the reaction ... and since there are no blood or skin tests for chilis ... we are going the elimination route. no tabasco, no salsa, no hot sauce, no spice AT ALL. if the swelling has gone away ... i can start re-introducing the foods into my diet, one at a time ... waiting another two weeks to be sure it's not the culprit ... and so on.

basically, i'm performing one long-ass science experiment on myself.

oh, and what to do while we don't know? don't leave home without an epi pen and a cell phone. super fun.

f.

offices

day two of being in the home office in nj.
i'm so over working in an office.

i've probably spent 5 months max in an office during my career. it really and truly sucks. i like working at home. then when it's slow i can nap. can't nap here. and there's just too many people ... too much noise and distractions.

i wanna go home to my red office.

there just might be a coupon for everything ...

from this week's ventura reporter

dear mr. ditka ...

and i quote (me),

"Dear Mr. Ditka,

During our March 23rd visit to your restaurant, we received exemplary service! However, one of the team members stood out - Anna. She was instrumental in finding my lost Ben Franklin Action Figure - which was located in the second floor bar. As you can see by the enclosed photo, Ben had a great time.

Thank you for a fabulous evening.

Fondly,
Julie S. and Ben"

i mailed the letter yesterday, on pink stationery (no, it was not scented - name that movie), along with a copy of the picture of mike, my two friends and ben. i framed the picture so it would be SUPER easy for mike, or a member of his staff, to put the picture on the wall. awesome!

my new friends, barbie & tanner

this toy is the shit, so to speak!

you feed barbie's dog, tanner, treats, he poops them out, and barbie cleans up after him with her pooper scooper.

who the fuck thinks of this stuff?

ps. i totally bought one.

joe's birthday, mike ditka & ben franklin

as i was going to be out of town for yet another one of joe's birthday ... he flew to chicago to celebrate with me in the windy city. i don't think he knew what he was in for ...

on friday night ... the eve of his actual birthday ... we went to mike ditka's with five of my colleagues ... including my boss.

as to be expected with this group ... it was out of control. :-) to give you an idea, our server, jackson, referred to us as "his drinkers." love it.

so, during appetizers ... my boss returned to the table ... from the powder room and announced the DITKA HIMSELF was in the bar. WOOHOO! (i was kinda expecting it ... i've never been to ditka's when he wasn't there ... but i digress.)

gerianne, the only other girl in our party, was SO excited that we ran over to check him out. and there he was ... smoking a cigar at his own table ... and he was wearing his GIGANTIC superbowl ring. :-) gerianne was too afraid to talk to him, so i went downstairs, bought her a tee shirt and asked mr. ditka to sign it. which he did. (he had a sharpie!) then i asked if i could take his picture ... he obliged ... and I BLINDED him with my flash ... i apologized and scampered away.

a little while later, two of the guys in our party decided that they wanted me to take their picture with DA COACH. i offered to lend them my camera, but i was a little nervous to go back to ditka after i blinded him. they begged, offered to take my ben franklin action figure (he's like a gnome in our group ... he goes everywhere with us and even has a kite ... but i'm really digressing now), so i agreed.

we went back to ditka ... they posed, i took a flashless picture. it was too dark, so i advised mike to close his eyes as the flash was imminent. he took one for the team, so to speak, and the picture is perfect. ben is in touchdown formation.

after the photo session, i headed to the ladies. i figured the guys got ben. it wasn't until we were eating dinner that bobo (another story) got up quickly and retrieved ben from ditka's table. ben had been hanging with ditka the entire time!

as the evening progressed, we got drunker, which lead to more drama. my husband had SEVEN martinis ... holy crap. i then took apart one of the birthday blowouts we had at the table and made ben a birthday toga. he was adorable.

we were about done at this point ... and we headed to the bar to say goodnight to my boss and craig, another one of our friends ... they were watching the basketball games ... after that, joe and i headed back to the hotel.

that is when everything took a turn for the worse. as i was packing ben's kite for the show the next day, i realized that I HAD LOST BEN. it was a nightmare.

joe - who was passed out ... was no help. i called my friends, and my boss, but no one was picking up their phones. it was after 11 pm and ben was on his own.

i had no choice but to call ditka's. the woman that answered the phone checked our table, with our server and even asked the kitchen staff ... no one had seen ben.

i kinda panicked. he's our mascot! our gnome!

joe was really out at this point ... so i downloaded my pictures from the night ... after looking through them, i realized that i had ben when we visited my boss and craig at the bar.

so i called ditka's back. i talked with a guy ... advised that ben franklin was missing in the restaurant ... and he put me on hold ... he came back before he searched the 2nd story and took my name and number. he didn't laugh once.

15 long minutes passed ... then the phone rang. it was anna from ditka's. she advised that she had my DOLL. i told anna that he's really an action figure and that we'd be by the next morning to pick him up.

joe did the honors and ben is back safe and sound. kite and all.

yum yum! - sarcastic - "crap meat"

from hill street cafe in ventura, ca.

porta potty at 30+ stories

i'm staying downtown chicago on the 31st floor of the sofitel hotel.

a new high rise is being built across the street ...

the attached photo is what i saw this morning as i was looking out at lake michigan.

look for the blue dot in the center of the photo ... that is a new porta potty being hoisted up to the top floor for the workers.

this afternoon, the dell guy (who was installing a new keyboard / touch pad on my laptop) and i saw a porta potty going the other way ... i guess they have to send them down for emptying?

super gross!

when two worlds collide

a pink camry taxi in vegas. does it get any better than this?

you know you travel too much when ...

you have to pack dirty clothes for laundering at your next destination because the window of time between is too short to have them laundered at home. i shit you not.

viva las vegas

as i woke up in chicago today at 4 am CST ... and then flew to las vegas, i was a bit out of it when i landed in nevada at 9:00 am PST this morning. but not as out of it as the guy on a pay phone (i didn't think anyone used those anymore) who asked me "we're in seattle, correct?" as i walked past him. i was feeling a little petulant, but i did tell him the truth ... advising, "we're in vegas, baby."

seriously, that was the highlight of my day. today was one of the worst i have EVER endured at work ... it was so bad that i almost quit. seriously.

coin slot

did you know that the slang definition for "coin slot" is the butt crack a woman shows when bending over in low rise jeans.

super.

fanfuckingtastic

i speak dyson

so, we have the dyson animal vaccum cleaner. i swear ... for $500+ i would expect not to have to have a degree in home ec to run it.

joe has had to explain it a couple of times.

perhaps i don't get it because i just don't want to?

but i kinda did it today ... i'm kinda proud.

diner dash 2

i am addicted to diner dash 2. for those of you lucky enough not to know what this is, it's a computer game that sucks you in until you're playing in your sleep.

kind of how i was with hello kitty party pals.

i absolutely do not have time for this game. i know we're going to have to break up eventually, i'm just not ready yet.

sad state of affairs

i watched "are you smarter than a fifth grader tonight."

it scares me that people are truly this dumb. seriously. using "cheats" on questions such as ...

how many sides on a trapezoid?
what country shares the longest border with the USA?
what star is closest to the earth?
true or false? fiction books are not assigned numbers in the dewey decimal system.
how many decades are in two millennia?

unbelievable and pathethic.