love it!

the "do not disturb" sign at the hotel has the following quote printed on it.

"Elwood: It's 106 miles to Chicago, we've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark and we're wearing sunglasses. Jake: Hit it."

how great is that?

superassdawg's

i was so excited to try a superdawg today.

i made a special trip ... the best chicago dogs are ALLEDGEDLY made here.

let me tell you ... it sucked. totally disappointed. greasy, salty ... just gross.

i so wish i could vomit.

WTF!?!

i just saw a commercial for white castle (never been a fan, but i digress) ... they are advertising "chicken rings" ... they're like donuts, but instead of fluffy donutty matter, the ring is made out of chicken!

question. what part of the chicken is shaped like a ring? huh? the hiney hole? maybe they should call these deep fried chicken sphincters. yum, yum!

i just might barf.

little debbie too!

i guess everyone is on the 100 calorie bandwagon! saw these little gems in a dominick's store on the northside of chicago today ... "little debbie, little debbie i'm coming home ... you make me walk like a camel"

resume killers

as quoted by www.careerbuilder.com this morning ...

Applicant attached a letter from her mother.
Applicant specified that his availability was limited because Friday, Saturday and Sunday was "drinking time."
Applicant explained that he works well nude.
Applicant explained an arrest by stating, "We stole a pig, but it was a really small pig."
Applicant drew a picture of a car on the outside of the envelope and said it was the hiring manager's gift.
Applicant explained a gap in employment by saying it was because he was getting over the death of his cat for three months.

i would love to meet these people!

who could have predicted ...

that i would get named Vendor of the Year at one of my major hardware customers? that's right HARDWARE. i never could have predicted this fabulous turn of events.

now ... let's just hope the title comes with a tiara.

did i mention?

that joe and i were out until 3 am this morning? i can't remember the last time we closed down a club and then went out for breakfast before the papers were delivered.

i would like to state here, for the record, that i have no idea how i did the bar / club / whatever thing so often in my 20s. there was not one guy there last night that wasn't:
a. dirty
b. crusty
c. vile
or
d. just downright scary
seriously. but it was an "older" crowd, so i totally hearted being one of the "young" ones.

shockingly, i am not hungover today. not at all. tylenol and water are my new best friends. i guess i did learn something valuable in my 20s after all. :-)

the stars at night are big and bright ... deep in the heart of texas!

so ... here's the alamo. in all of its glory.

still no basement. sorry, pee wee.

i can't believe i missed this toy!

Growing up Skipper

Growing up Skipper: a doll made from 1974 to 1977 by Mattel. You cranked her arm backwards in a circle, and her breasts grew. She would also gain half an inch in height. I had this doll, in its red leotard and wrap-around red and white checked skirt.

Did anyone have this doll?

lunch in san antonio

we stubbled on a quaint, mexican, highly colorful restaurant in san antonio today.

i swear, i've never seen so many pinatas or lights in one place before!

attached is photo documentation.

holy shit.

www.mitierracafe.com

coincidence?

my obsession with the alamo started when i was 12 and saw pee wee's big adventure for the first time.

you know ... pee wee's bike is stolen ... fortune teller advises it's at the alamo in the basement ... trek to san antonio commences ... no basement, no bike ... remember?

so how cool is it that i'm in san antonio right now and pee wee's big adventure is on tv? and bonus - the hotel in which i'm staying is less than 1/2 a mile from the alamo.

sometimes life is just too good.

you couldn't pay me to live here

arrived in san antonio at 8:27 pm CST on may 15th.
it was 90 degrees and STICKY FUCKING HUMID.

seriously, if it weren't for the alamo, i would LOATHE this place.

someone thinks she's too sexy for the valley

wow.

sprinkles!

first attempt at making an official sprinkles cupcake!

happy mother's day

seriously, why would one choose to wish a stranger "happy mother's day" when said stranger is sans child?

after my much needed pedicure this afternoon, the girl who processed my payment said, "bye. have a great mother's day."

when will my ovaries be big enough to break down at a time like that and announce to anyone that will listen that i'm barren? i'm not, but seriously, how many free treatments would that display have gotten me?

losing my religion, err wisdom

my two remaining wisdom teeth are scheduled for elimination on june 4th.

seriously, i've had them for this long. why can't i keep 'em mr. dentist?

day 37

the lip swelling is just about over.

all it took was a visit to my competent primary doctor ... some prednisone ... and the firing of my allergist by my regular doctor. she loathes him too.

so, let's keep our fingers crossed that i've lost that jolie lip look ...

happy birthday to me!

34 years young today! what a fun day! took 2 naps, got a massage, watched movies and had a great dinner ... woohoo! day 2 of birthday palooza was a success!

birthday palooza starts today!

start of a new month.
birthday is in less than a day.
i think i'm going to start a new tradition.

"birthday palooza!"

at least 2 weeks straight of birthday celebrating.

shouldn't be hard!