reality sets in

it dawned on me today why i caught the attention of the texas ranger on wednesday. i was driving a RED car. my audi is silver ... which apparently has helped keep me under the radar, so to speak, as i've only gotten pulled over once in it during the almost 4 years i have had her. and i talked my way out of that ticket, so it so doesn't count. in addition, most of the rentals i get assigned are colorless, old man sedans ... again, under the radar.

i'll be getting a new car by the end of the year. i really wanted red. but the reality is, i need to blend in as i doubt i'll slow down. kinda sad. i was going to name her maraschino.

rust stains left by shaving cream can

this morning i decided i was sick and tired of looking at the rust stains left by my shaving cream can. it really ruined the tile in the shower. the housekeeper and i have tried everything from an sos pad to melamine sponges. nothing worked.

so after a little surfing, i found the best solution.

barkeepers friend ... it comes in a can like ajax and was about $2 at ralph's. (i'm sure it's cheaper at target ...) i covered the stained area with a thick paste of the cleaner and water and let it sit for 15 minutes. i wiped up the paste and the rust stains were gone!! no scrubbing!

so happy!

fired up

it's been a long couple of weeks.

a. 8/11 - some asshole HIT MY CAR hard enough to knock off a piece of the bumper in a parking lot and didn't leave a note. price tag: $1,000. i hope the karma bus hits that person, backs up and runs him/her over again. what a dick.

b. 8/11 - foot x-rayed for potential breakage. (not related to the hit and run). foot not broken but hurts like hell. ice required.

c. 8/20 - suffered a horrific plane flight from PHL to LAX. most uncomfortable flight in a very long time. i was squished and thirsty. and i was in first. i wonder how people in coach survived. us airways sucks ass.

d. 8/20 - during said horrific flight, realized that i have flown over 1,000,000 actual air miles in my life. with no end in sight. almost vomited.

c. 8/26 - right now - TEXAS. need i say more? but i will ... read on.

d. 8/26 1:18 pm CST - pulled over by a TEXAS RANGER for doing 88 in a 65. Man, I hate getting caught. he asked me if i was speeding because there was an emergency. to which i replied, " i was trying to get out of East Texas as fast as I could, Sir." he was not amused. one of these days, i just might go too far.

e. 8/26 6:45 pm CST - taking on Marriott for not offering recycling bins in American hotel rooms. Marriott in Canada does it, why not us?

Saving Grace? Sophia is coming to visit on Friday.

awesome

cootie catcher

remember cootie catchers?
they were the paper "flowers" that were used to ask questions or "tell the future."

well, i just spent 15 minutes on the phone with sid, who just turned 8, trying to teach her how to fold one. we weren't successful. i'm going in the morning to teach her live. apparently, it is very important. :-)

is it bad?

to have your husband call you in your hotel room so you can talk on the speakerphone while in the bathroom?

i may have nightmares

from the backseat of the freakiest taxi i have ever been in (love the cherries hanging from the ceiling) ... driven by a nice but obviously off her rocker kind of woman. i was in the taxi for about 40 minutes longer than i should have been due to lovely chicago traffic. i hope i can sleep.

found porn

at the local putt putt. seriously.

weinermobile

i love that my dad sent me the weinermobile schedule for southern california so i could make sure and see my favorite vehicle in the world. okay, and how absolufuckinglutely fantastic is it that he's actually driven one?

everybody has something to hide except for me and my monkey

red pen

there is nothing more satisfying than using a red pen to edit. nothing.

30 minutes

no, not that. get your mind out of the gutter!

seriously, joe and i bought a 2nd hand kitchen table and chairs about 6 years ago. maybe 7. it was ugly then and it's super ugly now. but we got our $80 worth. it was truly the last of our ghetto furniture. (i forgot about it the last time i made that claim).

today i had to get rid of it. HAD TO. i could not look at it any longer. thought about calling "u call we haul," but figured why should i PAY to have someone pick it up?!? so i listed it on craigslist under free stuff.

all it took was 30 minutes for some guy to call me and arrange to pick it up! he just left. it's GONE. i can't believe it was here for so long.

WOOHOO! and i even got a replacement table handled. all in the same day! thank you red bull!