danger, danger

turns out, my RELATIVE was in NOLA at the very same time i was this past weekend ... so, of course, we had to get together.

she brought along her friends ... who are fabulous. i invited a couple of guys i know from work ... i've known them since i entered the hardware business about 4 years ago ... i know they're crazy, but this time, they were over the top and down the other side.

OMFG. perhaps i'm just immune to their antics. or grown to expect it. but, as this was the first time MY RELATIVE and her friends had met them, they were, i'm sure, a little on the shocked side. below is an excerpt i received after the night out. please remember that we were in NEW ORLEANS. wow, i hope MY RELATIVE and her friends survived without any permanent scarring ...

So, Bobo shows up to line up at my gate this afternoon. I, of course, don't say anything, but after a couple minutes he turns to me and says "Hey, didn't I party with you last night?" and proceeds to sit down next to me. He goes into a little bit of his night...got in at 530, still drunk when he got up at 8, felt great except his feet hurt from dancing so much, blah blah blah. He then calls his wife, which I figured was the end of our convo. Not so fast my friends.

After the brief phone call, he leans over and says, "So you missed a few things last night" and starts to show me some pics on his phone...one of which is of a bachelorette party with a giant novelty penis. At that point, the stranger woman next to us leans over and says, "Alright, now I have to see. It's ok, I'm in the business. (whispers) I have sex toys." Evidently she works for Slumber Party, which of course Bobo knew e'thing about, and of course, she was also at the trade show. After looking at his pic, she pulls out her camera and says check this out and shows us a pic of two people on Bourbon Street in full bondage gear, including whips and a collar/leash. They proceed to talk more about things, including boobs, flashing, Slumber Party products (she gave him her card), the shot girls from last night (evidently he spent another $100 on those stupid shots at the next bar), etc.

seriously?

i knew it was too good to be true.
turns out the new orleans trip could be all washed up, so to speak.
i made it down here without any drama, but we're on tornado AND flood watch.
seriously, how do people live here?

very excited

while i'm totally beat from 5 days in chicago ... i cannot wait to hit new orleans on thursday. CANNOT WAIT. i haven't been there for 7 years ... and while it is one of the smelliest places in the country (vomit, vodka, sewer) ... it is one of my favorite places to visit. however, it's way dangerous and i am considering hiring security. seriously.

new shirt

new shirt for air travel will read: chat disabled

i love this

i might be too old ...

but i still love pink taco in las vegas.

time

where has the last month gone? time is whizzing by like never before. perhaps it's all of the time i spend on the road?

joe and i just got back from vegas ... 5 days in sin city. i was there for work ... joe came along for the fun. i must state here that i'm so over vegas. has it always smelled like a giant ashtray? how sad is it that we stayed at a marriott property because it's smoke-free? how's that for getting old? but we did manage to gamble a little, eat some great food and see a couple of shows. but seriously, if i never go back, it'll be too soon.

next trips: chicago and new orleans. can't wait.