how to know when you need a vacation

i showed up this morning to walk with my friend, kristine, and i had no shoes on. i had socks, but no shoes. i need a break.

my new favorite show

rick and steve: the happiest gay couple in all the world

www.happiestgaycouple.com

this is the best show in a LONG time. i just heart it! i highly recommend it. :-)

ps. mom - think of this as wayne's world. you probably won't care for it. :-(

day 2

still not healthy enough for a pedicure. pardon the ass paint job.

joe had to operate on my toe last night and let the blood out. it was HUGE. i was too beat to get out of bed and get the camera ... so let your imagination run wild.

i may just be the most clumsy girl in the world.

SUPER F

as if the last few days haven't been challenging enough, i tripped over one of lola's ubiquitous bones today and smashed my little toe into a bedroom door.

i really don't think i've ever had that much pain, that fast, that lasted that long. i must have yelled fuck a million times. and then burst into tears because the pain wouldn't subside.

it's been 5 hours. this is what my toe looks like now. not good. joe wants to pop the blood blister situation. i won't let him. although, i might break. it's still throbbing pretty hard. SUPER F.

ps. been a long week in dry, desert like weather. hence the sad state of my pedicure. (the chip happened in the accident). this will be handled tomorrow. they could only get me in for a massage today. i almost feel human again.

i would totally learn how to bbq if i had one of these ...

a vendor had one of these adorable grills at the show last week in vegas (she even has nipples) ... and he offered to sell her to me for cost ... $700 ... if i could get her home. i could only imagine joe's face if i'd showed up with a u-haul and a pink pig grill.

this vendor is going to be at both of my upcoming tradeshows ... one is in atlanta (too far to drive) and one is in denver. denver may be an option. :-)

i could have lost my head if it wasn't attached

i couldn't hang on to anything this week ... i guess 9 days in 105+ heat will do that to you!

i lost my cell phone on wednesday ... the following is an excerpt from a press released previously published outside of this blog.

"true story.

i didn't know where i lost my phone on wednesday night. and it was GONE before i started drinking. i knew i had it at the hotel ... and the last phone call went out at 4:17 pm. the only place it could have been was the restaurant, the taxi or the street. when the restaurant advised that they didn't have it, i wrote it off ... a stranger who found it on the street wouldn't be able to get it back to me, even if they tried.

so, i called it several times on wednesday night, hoping someone would pick it up. joe tried too. nothing. just voicemail.

yesterday morning, i tried again. and lupe, from las vegas western cab lost and found answered my phone! someone had turned it in! so i went down this morning and got her back! WOOHOO! i will so back up my sim card when i get home. i wasn't concerned about having to buy another phone, i just didn't want to have to enter in all of my information manually. not mention that i would have lost all of my cool graphics and tones! so, call me on my cell again ..."

on a side note ... when i got to the taxi company lost and found, a guy in the front inquired as to whether i was there to pick up my check ... seriously.

so if that wasn't bad enough, i lost my AMEX last night in downtown vegas. turns out, i left it in a bar at the golden nugget. however, it was in the SAFE by the time i got there and security had to retrieve it for me. i am so glad that i got to fill out two evidence-type forms yesterday and leave copies of my driver's license all over vegas.

i need to get back home. 9 days here was way too long ...

almost got my ass kicked

looked up yesterday at the tradeshow and immediately locked eyes with one of the tradeshow maintenance crew. i smiled.

she said, "what you laughing at?" her tone was frightening.

i looked away before she could kick my ass. she was a bit rough. i could have been hurt for being nice! so sad.

red licorice flavor

i broke down and had a tub of red vines in my booth at the show. granted, they probably became "pee pee red vines" 5 minutes after opening them as you never know how many people have washed their hands, but i digress.

a psycho vendor came over and exclaimed she just LOVES licorice and could she please have some. i advised she could.

she asked me if the licorice was strawberry or cherry flavored ... to which i replied, "it's red licorice flavor." she told me there wasn't such a thing.

i explained to this woman that red vines are red licorice flavor ... TWIZZLERS come in either strawberry or cherry. she told me i was wrong. i told her that it's a coast thing ... red wines are west coast and twizzlers are east coast.

she still didn't believe me.

so i advised that she should trust the chubby people. we know candy. (she was a twig and skinny people can't be expected to know the ins and outs of candy.)

she gave me a perplexed look and left. :-)

how dumb are the toy manufacturers?

another lead paint recall in about a week's time. who the hell is in charge here? among the affected ... barbie and tanner ... apparently tanner's poop is toxic. well, duh. what poop isn't toxic?

another day at LAX

i took a town car to LAX today.

i wish i could do this for every trip ... the sky caps are ALL OVER YOU when you get out of a town car. i was in the security line 3 minutes after the car stopped at the curb. of course i left my sunglasses on until i went through the metal detector to play into the mystery of my identity.

on a side note ... celebrity sighting. Fred Willard. I heart him. He is fabulous in the Christopher Guest moves ... my favorite being Best in Show.

blackout curtains

joe put up blackout curtains in our bedroom about a month ago.

we had no idea that they'd work so well. i overslept the first morning ... getting up at 10 am rather than 7!

after a month long struggle, we've resorted to tying one side back each night. otherwise, we may never make it to work on time again.

if you're having trouble sleeping ... they work like a charm!

elvis pez

gotta love that there are now elvis pez!

i picked a set up at vons ... i had no idea they're limited edition and already out of stock on http://pezco.securesites.com/catalog/index.php?cPath=91_153&osCsid=76f83942c01f959abe96cfa835ba0230.

i'm glad i have one ... even though joe and i found at least 200 pez in the garage today during our quarterly cleaning. they are safely stored away, however, i am donating the 150 beanie babies to the ventura county foster care program, so at least that's something.

funnel cake

i had funnel cake at the fair last night for the first time. i don't see what all of the excitement is about. it was gross. :-( i should have stuck to hot dog on a stick! :-)

the vest

i just don't understand the vest.

why not wear a jacket? or a sweatshirt? what good is the vest if no sleeves are available? i just don't get it.

drew loving pedophiles?

k & i took sid to see nancy drew this afternoon.
have to admit that i was a little creeped out by the 3 SINGLE OVER 50 YEAR OLD MEN who were in the theater with us.

these men were not sitting together ... they were sitting alone. and i couldn't see their hands.

seriously. do you think they were pedophiles? ew.

say hello to our little friend

super vile. it's possum season at the beach shack. that's right, that little beast is on MY WALL. i just hope lola doesn't kill one while joe is in london. i think we'd have to stay in a hotel until he got back ... or call the gardener ... or my dad ... or rick? i am so not cleaning up possum blood. i've done it once and that was way enough.

venice & sepulveda kwik e mart - on the inside

kwik e mart - venice blvd. & sepulveda - july 9th!

i made it to the kwik e mart on monday the 9th. it was about 11:45 pm when i got there and there was still a LINE to get it. so i stayed in the car and got some photos. (Ash - that neighborhood is super scary after dark!) ps. the guys in the first picture remind me of the guys in say anything that do the lloyd dobler rap!

how to locate a kwik e mart

little envy here.

my cousin, Ashley, visited a "kwik e mart" yesterday. it sounds really cool. she even bought buzz cola!

if you're interested in visiting one in your area ... http://www.7-eleven.com/kem.asp

i hope to go to the one in los angeles tomorrow. :-)

celebrity sighting at LAX

beverly d'angelo was lost inside of the lax admiral's club today.

seriously.

she asked the front desk 2 times while i was standing in line for an upgrade how to exit the club.

curious. didn't she enter the club? it's the same way out as in. but i still heart her for her roles in the vacation movies and entourage. http://imdb.com/name/nm0000350/