my new friends, barbie & tanner

this toy is the shit, so to speak!

you feed barbie's dog, tanner, treats, he poops them out, and barbie cleans up after him with her pooper scooper.

who the fuck thinks of this stuff?

ps. i totally bought one.

joe's birthday, mike ditka & ben franklin

as i was going to be out of town for yet another one of joe's birthday ... he flew to chicago to celebrate with me in the windy city. i don't think he knew what he was in for ...

on friday night ... the eve of his actual birthday ... we went to mike ditka's with five of my colleagues ... including my boss.

as to be expected with this group ... it was out of control. :-) to give you an idea, our server, jackson, referred to us as "his drinkers." love it.

so, during appetizers ... my boss returned to the table ... from the powder room and announced the DITKA HIMSELF was in the bar. WOOHOO! (i was kinda expecting it ... i've never been to ditka's when he wasn't there ... but i digress.)

gerianne, the only other girl in our party, was SO excited that we ran over to check him out. and there he was ... smoking a cigar at his own table ... and he was wearing his GIGANTIC superbowl ring. :-) gerianne was too afraid to talk to him, so i went downstairs, bought her a tee shirt and asked mr. ditka to sign it. which he did. (he had a sharpie!) then i asked if i could take his picture ... he obliged ... and I BLINDED him with my flash ... i apologized and scampered away.

a little while later, two of the guys in our party decided that they wanted me to take their picture with DA COACH. i offered to lend them my camera, but i was a little nervous to go back to ditka after i blinded him. they begged, offered to take my ben franklin action figure (he's like a gnome in our group ... he goes everywhere with us and even has a kite ... but i'm really digressing now), so i agreed.

we went back to ditka ... they posed, i took a flashless picture. it was too dark, so i advised mike to close his eyes as the flash was imminent. he took one for the team, so to speak, and the picture is perfect. ben is in touchdown formation.

after the photo session, i headed to the ladies. i figured the guys got ben. it wasn't until we were eating dinner that bobo (another story) got up quickly and retrieved ben from ditka's table. ben had been hanging with ditka the entire time!

as the evening progressed, we got drunker, which lead to more drama. my husband had SEVEN martinis ... holy crap. i then took apart one of the birthday blowouts we had at the table and made ben a birthday toga. he was adorable.

we were about done at this point ... and we headed to the bar to say goodnight to my boss and craig, another one of our friends ... they were watching the basketball games ... after that, joe and i headed back to the hotel.

that is when everything took a turn for the worse. as i was packing ben's kite for the show the next day, i realized that I HAD LOST BEN. it was a nightmare.

joe - who was passed out ... was no help. i called my friends, and my boss, but no one was picking up their phones. it was after 11 pm and ben was on his own.

i had no choice but to call ditka's. the woman that answered the phone checked our table, with our server and even asked the kitchen staff ... no one had seen ben.

i kinda panicked. he's our mascot! our gnome!

joe was really out at this point ... so i downloaded my pictures from the night ... after looking through them, i realized that i had ben when we visited my boss and craig at the bar.

so i called ditka's back. i talked with a guy ... advised that ben franklin was missing in the restaurant ... and he put me on hold ... he came back before he searched the 2nd story and took my name and number. he didn't laugh once.

15 long minutes passed ... then the phone rang. it was anna from ditka's. she advised that she had my DOLL. i told anna that he's really an action figure and that we'd be by the next morning to pick him up.

joe did the honors and ben is back safe and sound. kite and all.

yum yum! - sarcastic - "crap meat"

from hill street cafe in ventura, ca.

porta potty at 30+ stories

i'm staying downtown chicago on the 31st floor of the sofitel hotel.

a new high rise is being built across the street ...

the attached photo is what i saw this morning as i was looking out at lake michigan.

look for the blue dot in the center of the photo ... that is a new porta potty being hoisted up to the top floor for the workers.

this afternoon, the dell guy (who was installing a new keyboard / touch pad on my laptop) and i saw a porta potty going the other way ... i guess they have to send them down for emptying?

super gross!

when two worlds collide

a pink camry taxi in vegas. does it get any better than this?

you know you travel too much when ...

you have to pack dirty clothes for laundering at your next destination because the window of time between is too short to have them laundered at home. i shit you not.

viva las vegas

as i woke up in chicago today at 4 am CST ... and then flew to las vegas, i was a bit out of it when i landed in nevada at 9:00 am PST this morning. but not as out of it as the guy on a pay phone (i didn't think anyone used those anymore) who asked me "we're in seattle, correct?" as i walked past him. i was feeling a little petulant, but i did tell him the truth ... advising, "we're in vegas, baby."

seriously, that was the highlight of my day. today was one of the worst i have EVER endured at work ... it was so bad that i almost quit. seriously.

coin slot

did you know that the slang definition for "coin slot" is the butt crack a woman shows when bending over in low rise jeans.

super.

fanfuckingtastic

i speak dyson

so, we have the dyson animal vaccum cleaner. i swear ... for $500+ i would expect not to have to have a degree in home ec to run it.

joe has had to explain it a couple of times.

perhaps i don't get it because i just don't want to?

but i kinda did it today ... i'm kinda proud.

diner dash 2

i am addicted to diner dash 2. for those of you lucky enough not to know what this is, it's a computer game that sucks you in until you're playing in your sleep.

kind of how i was with hello kitty party pals.

i absolutely do not have time for this game. i know we're going to have to break up eventually, i'm just not ready yet.

sad state of affairs

i watched "are you smarter than a fifth grader tonight."

it scares me that people are truly this dumb. seriously. using "cheats" on questions such as ...

how many sides on a trapezoid?
what country shares the longest border with the USA?
what star is closest to the earth?
true or false? fiction books are not assigned numbers in the dewey decimal system.
how many decades are in two millennia?

unbelievable and pathethic.

love this marketing department!

live from the show floor in orlando, florida!

final tally for yesterday ... 17,010 steps. a new daily record for me!

i loathe trade shows. it is nearly impossible for me to be perky and pleasant for this many hours in a row.

coolest car ever

i'm glad no one is accompanying me to the airport!

i'm in florida for 7 days and 6 nights.

i packed one large suitcase, one medium garment bag on wheels, a carry-on and a medium sized tote bag. and i only brought 4 pairs of shoes (not including the pair i was wearing on the plane) ... so that's pretty good.

at least i thought so until i picked up one of my colleagues today. she's going to be here for 4 days and 3 nights. she had ONE carry-on (in which she packed her laptop!) and a medium sized PURSE. that's it.

maybe i overpacked?

just shake that ass

There are some songs that make you want to shake your ass.
And you have to do it.
Even if you have to lock yourself in the airport lavatory to satisfy the urge.

observation

40-something is entirely too old to fly to work (in a SUIT), with what's left of your hair sculpted into a mohawk. seriously.

super power

i really want to be able to see a cartoon-like bubble above people's heads when they're listening to their ipods that displays the song that's playing in their ears. an XM radio like display would be fine. i'm sure it would be a very interesting exercise in sociology.

$6,250

art. is it worth $6,250 for a painting you love?