dolphins, a crab and an armadillo!
11.30.2006
"war driving"
joe told me about "war driving for a wireless internet signal" while we were in florida. this was the first i'd heard that there was a name for hijacking wireless signals.
i tried it today and it worked! i'm connected through kinko's in the parking lot! :-) it's not really "free" though ... i have a tmobile hotspot account ... but it still feels naughty!
i tried it today and it worked! i'm connected through kinko's in the parking lot! :-) it's not really "free" though ... i have a tmobile hotspot account ... but it still feels naughty!
home sweet home
i am home.
there is a small chance that tonight was the last flight of 2006 for me.
let's hope.
there is a small chance that tonight was the last flight of 2006 for me.
let's hope.
11.29.2006
unbefuckinglievable
i have been stuck at chicago o'hell airport for over three hours. there are at least two more to go.
on my way to the admirial's club (yes, i have already been here once today), i took the attached picture. it's blurry, but just look at the yellow lines versus the white ones. that was three hours ago. the yellow represent delayed flights, the white are on-time.
as of a few minutes ago, there were no white lines.
fuck.
toll road drama
question. how is one supposed to pay a $0.50 toll when one does not have any change, the booth isn't personed, there is no dollar bill changer, there is no credit card reader and you don't have an automatic payment scanner because you're driving a rental car?
answer. you don't.
this phenomenon absolutely infuriates me. i have NO problem paying tolls ... however, if i am visiting from out of town and haven't memorized the toll system, i cannot be prepared by having a shitload of change available at the ready. however, if a credit card reader was made available ... i could always pay the required toll.
joe and i had to blow out two toll booths in florida this week. i'm kinda sad that they didn't have the bars lowered across the lane ... it would have been added fun to bust through them!
okay florida. send me the letter demanding your fucking $0.50. i can't wait to write that check and my letter of protest. by the way, in chicago and london one can go online to pay if one can't pay the toll at the time of passing. and in france - a seemingly THIRD WORLD COUNTRY - you can pay by credit card at ALL toll crossings. bottom line - if you want my money, make it possible for me to give it to you.
i am available for consulting.
answer. you don't.
this phenomenon absolutely infuriates me. i have NO problem paying tolls ... however, if i am visiting from out of town and haven't memorized the toll system, i cannot be prepared by having a shitload of change available at the ready. however, if a credit card reader was made available ... i could always pay the required toll.
joe and i had to blow out two toll booths in florida this week. i'm kinda sad that they didn't have the bars lowered across the lane ... it would have been added fun to bust through them!
okay florida. send me the letter demanding your fucking $0.50. i can't wait to write that check and my letter of protest. by the way, in chicago and london one can go online to pay if one can't pay the toll at the time of passing. and in france - a seemingly THIRD WORLD COUNTRY - you can pay by credit card at ALL toll crossings. bottom line - if you want my money, make it possible for me to give it to you.
i am available for consulting.
for my friend ... sweet coalminer
this little jellyfish lost its life on the shores of new symrna beach, florida. i totally thought of my friend, sweet.
ps. my husband has now used the word "chode" in a sentence. also thought of you.
11.26.2006
11.25.2006
it took over five years, but i FINALLY saw a gator in the wild!
meet fluffy ... she is just ONE of the many gators we saw at the kennedy space center today!
yummy adult beverages!
captain morgan's tattoo rum (it's black) and bailey's caramel irish cream are DELICIOUS. i highly recommend them.
11.24.2006
field trip!
we are going to cape canaveral and the kennedy space center tomorrow! we're going on the tour that requires a background check so i'm assuming we're going to have a good time! pictures to follow. unless they're classified! :-)
11.23.2006
and now a message from our sponsor
happy thanksgiving to all and to all a good night!
we're having a blast in florida. space center and daytona, here we come!
i think we ate enough to feed a small village in a rainforest somewhere.
ps. i am thankful that lola did not bite nick's balls today.
we're having a blast in florida. space center and daytona, here we come!
i think we ate enough to feed a small village in a rainforest somewhere.
ps. i am thankful that lola did not bite nick's balls today.
i am thankful for yet another celebrity sighting
sandra oh (grey's anatomy, sideways) has joined us here in the admiral's club.
last year it was alfre woodard from desperate housewives.
seeing sandra sure beats out my weird al sighting a couple of weeks ago in chicago.
last year it was alfre woodard from desperate housewives.
seeing sandra sure beats out my weird al sighting a couple of weeks ago in chicago.
11.22.2006
who knew i had it in me!
in the past 24 hours, i have replaced three buttons and mended a hole in the pocket of a pair of running shorts. i did not bleed and saved about $20 by not taking my mending to the cleaners.
i rock.
i rock.
anonymity
for the past 10 years, i have enjoyed a certain level of anonymity here in ventura. i like that i can run into the store or target without running into anyone i know. there are days that i don't want to put on makeup, get out of my track pants, etc.
these days have come to an abrupt halt.
i suddenly have a new identity. sidney's aunt julie.
in the past week alone, i've run into several moms from sid's class and brownie troop. wow. who knew? even the subway at the gas station isn't safe anymore. :-(
these days have come to an abrupt halt.
i suddenly have a new identity. sidney's aunt julie.
in the past week alone, i've run into several moms from sid's class and brownie troop. wow. who knew? even the subway at the gas station isn't safe anymore. :-(
11.21.2006
mea culpa
in case you can't read the note ...
"To whom it may concern - enclosed please find a fork from your establishment. it was inadvertently taken from your restaurant last weekend. it fell into my friend's purse. sorry for any inconvenience. jsw"
11.19.2006
75 degrees and gorgeous
pismo beach, ca
november 19, 2006
note to self: when bummed about how expensive it is to live on california's coast, look at this picture. thanksgiving is in 3 days and i have a tan.
11.17.2006
sanity saving tip
did you know that you can buy stamps and print shipping labels at www.usps.com? All stamp orders have a $1 shipping and handling fee attached; regardless of order size. This is a BARGAIN.
you can also use "click n ship" to print a shipping label. AND, if the item is heavier than one pound (you can't drop a package in a mailbox that's larger than one pound) you can schedule a carrier pick-up for NO ADDITIONAL CHARGE.
i haven't been in a post office for months.
you can also use "click n ship" to print a shipping label. AND, if the item is heavier than one pound (you can't drop a package in a mailbox that's larger than one pound) you can schedule a carrier pick-up for NO ADDITIONAL CHARGE.
i haven't been in a post office for months.
11.16.2006
service deli
i overheard a woman ordering at starbucks today. it is that kind of order / customer that makes me remember just how much working in the service deli sucked.
"sally" walked up to the counter and said, "i need to order 3 drinks, but need to pay for them separately." F. can't you people whip out a calculator and divy it up? i HATED customers like that. oh, and the drinks were "1/2 this, 1/2 that, no whip, extra whip, etc." DRAMA.
"sally" walked up to the counter and said, "i need to order 3 drinks, but need to pay for them separately." F. can't you people whip out a calculator and divy it up? i HATED customers like that. oh, and the drinks were "1/2 this, 1/2 that, no whip, extra whip, etc." DRAMA.
11.15.2006
problem solver
at the wise old age of 33 i have realized that there is no problem that cannot be solved by racing up and down the coast, top down, radio blasting.
11.14.2006
over the top, even by my standards
kristine and i drove past a "pump it up" the other night ... ("pump it up" www.pumpitupparty.com is a warehouse-like facility that's filled with bouncy houses, slides, etc. ... parents can rent it out for kids' parties.) anyway, parked outside of the building was a stretch hummer limo. who the fuck gets a limo for a little kid's party? if you have that much money, shouldn't you just rent out the magic kingdom?
bella vista, arkansas
literally, "bella vista" translates into "beautiful view."
isn't that an oxymoron in arkansas?
isn't that an oxymoron in arkansas?
11.13.2006
this time i even sickened myself
as of today, i have all of my work related holiday cards ready to go. i even managed to write a personal note on each of them. there are about 80 cards in the pile.
this type a in its worst light.
this type a in its worst light.
11.11.2006
a blast from the past
i spent 2 hours this afternoon supervising girl scout cookie sales. it brought back a lot of good memories of the hours i spent pushing cookies in front of vons when i was little.
i can't believe i'm old enough to be supervising the sales ... time goes by quickly!
ps. cookies are $4 a box now!
i can't believe i'm old enough to be supervising the sales ... time goes by quickly!
ps. cookies are $4 a box now!
11.10.2006
is your betty ready?
i am still laughing at this article from vanity fair this month!
(click on the article to enlarge it if you're having trouble reading it)
11.09.2006
steves, part 2
to sweet coalminer:
how in the hell could i have forgotten "snacky?" actually, if his nickname had been "snacky steve," i probably would have been all over it. :-)
he was a real good time, as i recall. although, i don't think i ever had the pleasure of making his acquaintance. but after the valentine's day debacle, i feel like he was part of my life too. :-
isn't he married now? poor girl! i hope she feeds him lots of snacks!
jsw
how in the hell could i have forgotten "snacky?" actually, if his nickname had been "snacky steve," i probably would have been all over it. :-)
he was a real good time, as i recall. although, i don't think i ever had the pleasure of making his acquaintance. but after the valentine's day debacle, i feel like he was part of my life too. :-
isn't he married now? poor girl! i hope she feeds him lots of snacks!
jsw
11.06.2006
steves
why do men with the name "steve" always cause problems for me?
the following list is in no particular order of importance. they're all super weasels. note: surnames have been omitted to protect the innocent and the guilty.
steve y. "aka vermin" - head of marriott maintenance when i was in college. he was more than incompetent (ie. left a porch light burned out for days in front of one of the residence halls at a women's college.) i got him fired. he's probably still working at a fast food joint in florida.
steve s. - one of skye's roomates in jackson hole. he was completely arrogant and accused me of touching his willy on the way home from the mangy moose on new year's 1999. he really should have been more concerned with the fact that it was so small i couldn't find it.
steve m. - the sheriff. for those of you who know the stories, enough said. for those of you who do not, they are in the vault.
steve d. - at my current place of employment. homophobic, redneck dick. need i say more?
steve k. - works for me as a rep. as dumb as they come. need to fire, but can't due to company politics. i'd like to dedicate "steve polycronopolis" by adam sandler to this weasel.
who am i missing?
the following list is in no particular order of importance. they're all super weasels. note: surnames have been omitted to protect the innocent and the guilty.
steve y. "aka vermin" - head of marriott maintenance when i was in college. he was more than incompetent (ie. left a porch light burned out for days in front of one of the residence halls at a women's college.) i got him fired. he's probably still working at a fast food joint in florida.
steve s. - one of skye's roomates in jackson hole. he was completely arrogant and accused me of touching his willy on the way home from the mangy moose on new year's 1999. he really should have been more concerned with the fact that it was so small i couldn't find it.
steve m. - the sheriff. for those of you who know the stories, enough said. for those of you who do not, they are in the vault.
steve d. - at my current place of employment. homophobic, redneck dick. need i say more?
steve k. - works for me as a rep. as dumb as they come. need to fire, but can't due to company politics. i'd like to dedicate "steve polycronopolis" by adam sandler to this weasel.
who am i missing?
11.05.2006
11.03.2006
libations
one has to be pretty drunk to call one's husband to pick her up from a local watering hole. driving was not an option for me tonight.
haunted house
this is a shot from a haunted house in ventura. "bush" was driving and in front of the car there were 3 "dead bodies." they were labeled "civil liberties," "peace," and "environment." those pictures did not turn out. :-(
11.02.2006
fruit
when will my body stop rejecting the 5 servings of fruit i eat every day? i HAVE to eat the fruit ... it's healthy and helps me lose weight.
hey, am i losing weight because fruit reeks havoc with my digestive system? does that happen to everyone? is that fruit's secret?
hey, am i losing weight because fruit reeks havoc with my digestive system? does that happen to everyone? is that fruit's secret?
dancing
is dancing ability inherited? i ask because i was boogying in my office this morning and noticed a lot of ass shaking. i'm afraid i may have gotten that move from my dad. it's a little elaine-esque. oh well, i guess this white girl can't dance. at least my office is a safe dancing haven.
11.01.2006
halloween
rude teenage trick or treaters got you down?
try giving them leftover condiment packets (or ice cubes if they're carrying a paper bag) ... that'll teach 'em to leave the trick or treating to the little kids!
(tip provided by lynn at the vanity shop)
try giving them leftover condiment packets (or ice cubes if they're carrying a paper bag) ... that'll teach 'em to leave the trick or treating to the little kids!
(tip provided by lynn at the vanity shop)
what a pink flamingo sticker means in the bahamas
"Just so you know, if a store has a pink flamingo sticker on their door or window it means that this store meets strict government guidelines and that all their brands are authentic. The flamingo is the official bird."
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