nipples?

don't these look like nipples?
this is the design on the bedspread at the courtyard in bloomingdale, il.
super hot.

where is julie?

i would not make a good administrative / executive assistant

in the span of 24 hours i broke a mailing tape dispensing gun, screwed up a couple of sets of 2-sided copies, and got in a fight with a stapler. my rep, who witnessed all of this, advised me not to ever use these items again. it wasn't pretty.

beyond cold

it's snowing. horizontally.
wind chill in bloomingdale, il is -9.
i really don't know how i'm going to go outside.
very scared of freezing to death.

anti-flatulence underwear!

www.under-tec.com

Under-Ease are underwear for protection against bad human gas (malodorous flatus) and are made from a soft air-tight fabric (polyurethane-coated nylon). To maintain the air-tightness, elastic is sewn into the material around the waist and both legs.
A triangular "exit hole" for the flatus to be expelled is cut from the back of the air-tight underwear, near the bottom. This "exit hole" is covered with a "pocket" made of ordinary porous fabric sewn over the "exit hole". This unique design forces all expelled gas (flatus) out through the "pocket".
Inside the "pocket" is a high-functioning, replaceable filter - the core of the technology. This multi-layered filter is made in a sandwich-style, and begins with the two outer layers of wool felt. The second two layers are made of non-woven polypropylene and spun glass materials. In the center of the filter is a single layer of activated carbon.
The filter is then covered with soft ordinary material to allow for easy replacement in or out of the pocket. The underwear are washable and will last approximately a year depending on the frequency of use and laundering. Each filter will last from several weeks to several months depending on the frequency of use and laundering.

i have requested an order form.

i'm going to pump, you up!

we went back to the gym this morning.
it's been almost 2 years since i've lifted weights ... but as i haven't lost any weight in the past month and HATE weight watchers as a result, i suggested to joe that we go back.

it was okay ... not as bad as i thought ... and now that we've made the first step, i am super hopeful that we'll keep going.

ipods help. and vicodin.

but what if i have to pee?

the lavatory was out of service this morning on aa #3193 from lax to san jose.

i can totally make it an hour ... and they did warn us, but what if we got stuck on the tarmac? had to circle san jose due to weather? it's a bit unnerving to know that you don't have an accessible toilet nor depends. i couldn't go to my big meeting today with a big pee stain on my ass. it was a lot of pressure. so to speak. :-)

joe advised that if i had to go, i should pee in the aisle. he was pretty sure that would get us a new plane.

let's recap. no snacks. no pillows. no playing cards. late departures and arrivals ('06 had the most delayed flights in recorded history). delayed baggage. and now no toilet access? i SO need a corporate jet and a driver.

super dramatic air traveler!

so, there was a c-list actor type ahead of me in the security line this morning.
he was traveling with a small rat-like dog. maybe a ferret? but i digress.

he set off the metal detector on the first walk-through.
he started in on a tirade about how he didn't know he had to get naked to go through security.

he walked through again. bells went off.

so did he.

he yelled at the TSA agent, "well, i guess it's the big cock ring on my dick that is setting it off."

brad, tsa boy, made him step to the side for a secondary screening. keep in mind that he's carrying the ferret-like creature through all of this.

none of the TSA agents wanted to screen him. big surprise. he was standing there, asking all of the women to please frisk him so he could move on. pig.

i left before the ferret-lover was cleared. maybe he wasn't?

gum is now a no-no?

my tooth / jaw / gums have been hurting for a good 24 hours now.
i did call for painkillers - but didn't take one this morning because i had to drive to the airport ... need to be cognizant for a meeting, etc. it hurts.

so, perhaps i shouldn't have chewed some gum this morning. it seemed like a good idea at the time. but not so much now. f.

dentist update

the dentist drama is over.
i have NO cavities, NO need for crowns or root canals. NOTHING.

i had two wisdom teeth pulled this morning ... that's it. i get to keep the other two.

back on track. rock on.

camry magnet

i purposely parked in the middle of nowhere this afternoon at target. there were no cars for miles.

i was only in target for 10 minutes.

and this is what happened. i checked for dents, just in case.

(please note that my car is free of westlake audi license plate frames.)

dentist

shame on me for waiting so long to go to the dentist.
bill clinton was in office the last time i went.

it was so bad today that they only did one side of my mouth. rest tomorrow. i am such a wimp!

i have to have my wisdom teeth pulled and who knows what else.

oh, maybe this princess will have to get a crown? :-)

vampires in ventura?

ew!!!!!!

improvisation

there is no bathtub in my hotel room. i neglected to bring a bucket back with me from the office. i had to soak my bloody stump of a toe.

i see mops & brooms

it's a winter wonderland!

quickie manufacturing - cinnaminson, nj

clean panty insurance

i was delayed overall 3 hours due to weather last night, but i made it to philly despite a couple of cancelled flights.

i attribute it all to "clean panty insurance." if i hadn't had a clean change of clothes, i know i would have been stuck in dal-ass. but alas, i made it all the way, luggage and all. :-)

snow sucks

if i wanted to deal with snow every week i would move to a snowy locale.
i am super tired of snow derailing my life. i lugged a roller bag with me today because i am convinced that i will be snowed in at a marriott in dallas. at least i'll have clean panties and my gameboy. maybe i should have packed a snowblower.

recovery

my toe is feeling better after surgery on monday. it's kinda bloody and goopy still, but it feels a lot better. :-)

can't wait to know how it feels after walking through lax, dfw and phl airports tomorrow. :-(

super cold

it is so cold tonight that a snowflake appeared next to the temperature tonight on sterling's dashboard. super cold.