in doing a little convenience store research for an upcoming call, i grabbed a starbucks light iced coffee. it was in a can like red bull. for just 35 calories, i knew i wasn't going to get something FABULOUS, but i was expecting drinkable.
it was ass. pure ass. i actually pulled a white trash move and dumped it out in the parking lot. but did recycle the can.
ew.
7.31.2006
invitations
i don't understand why some people think it's okay not to RSVP to a party to which they've been invited.
the host took the time to send the invitation; the least you could do is respond. it's really not that difficult.
the host took the time to send the invitation; the least you could do is respond. it's really not that difficult.
7.28.2006
goodbye to the brush up!
i love the oral b brush up. it is a perfect way to freshen up the fangs while traveling. no water needed.
so imagine my consternation when i learned that they have discontinued the brush up. it's over. once the supply's on ebay dries up, there will be no more.
it feels like the end of an era. like when they disco'd the today sponge. i hope i don't have to wait 10 years for the brush up to resurface.
is nothing sacred?
so imagine my consternation when i learned that they have discontinued the brush up. it's over. once the supply's on ebay dries up, there will be no more.
it feels like the end of an era. like when they disco'd the today sponge. i hope i don't have to wait 10 years for the brush up to resurface.
is nothing sacred?
7.27.2006
beach shack invention
we re-did our backyard several months back ... we had a lot of flagstone installed.
the initial plan was to install / maintain a fabulous ground plant (i am horrible with flora names) in-between the flagstone. but our gardener sucked at weeding (he was fired) and we're too lazy to do so ... in the end, i had the "flora" removed. we replaced it with pea gravel. of course, it was supposed to be sea glass and gravel, but the sea glass part just hasn't happened. again, lazy.
but i digress. so, even though there's pea gravel ... weeds still come up. bastards. joe's "rounded them up," but they keep coming.
so my husband is outside with a homemade blow torch. he's burning them up. he attached a nozzle to a propane tank. (super safe, i'm sure) he won't know until he reads this that i have some of the backyard action on video.
i wonder if i can post video here. it's priceless.
the initial plan was to install / maintain a fabulous ground plant (i am horrible with flora names) in-between the flagstone. but our gardener sucked at weeding (he was fired) and we're too lazy to do so ... in the end, i had the "flora" removed. we replaced it with pea gravel. of course, it was supposed to be sea glass and gravel, but the sea glass part just hasn't happened. again, lazy.
but i digress. so, even though there's pea gravel ... weeds still come up. bastards. joe's "rounded them up," but they keep coming.
so my husband is outside with a homemade blow torch. he's burning them up. he attached a nozzle to a propane tank. (super safe, i'm sure) he won't know until he reads this that i have some of the backyard action on video.
i wonder if i can post video here. it's priceless.
self-inflicted drama
so we had some last minute guests over a few days ago ... and in a tidying frenzy, i hid the dirty dishes in the oven because the dishwasher was full and clean.
i totally forgot about them until i turned on the oven tonight. until joe and i were asking each other "um. what's the smell? do you smell something funny?"
it wasn't pretty. but the dishes were okay once i rescued them. our kitchen still smells like burnt carrots.
i totally forgot about them until i turned on the oven tonight. until joe and i were asking each other "um. what's the smell? do you smell something funny?"
it wasn't pretty. but the dishes were okay once i rescued them. our kitchen still smells like burnt carrots.
first golf injury
i have my first golf injury.
somehow i jammed the middle finger on my right hand. it's swollen, but no bruise.
it hurts.
somehow i jammed the middle finger on my right hand. it's swollen, but no bruise.
it hurts.
take a shower, please!
i walked into my ww meeting this morning and there was a serious dirt stench wafting EVERYWHERE.
turns out it was the dirt farmer in row 2. sir, we don't want to smell you ... please hose off before coming to the meeting next week!
ew.
turns out it was the dirt farmer in row 2. sir, we don't want to smell you ... please hose off before coming to the meeting next week!
ew.
7.26.2006
driving range
i went on my first solo mission to the golf course today (not including lessons). i was the only woman on the range ... it was crowded ... so i choose a spot between a 60+ leftie and a 50 something lawyer-type.
after i warmed up, i let 'em rip. i was feeling pretty good. i had some bad balls, but who doesn't?
that's when leftie (who is golfing towards me) says, "hey, you've got a good move ... but don't scrunch your arms up so much."
i just couldn't bring myself to say, "i know ... my large breasts keep getting in the way."
i think it's weird to advise strangers how to allegedly improve their game.
shame on me for not wearing a sports bra to keep the girls in line.
after i warmed up, i let 'em rip. i was feeling pretty good. i had some bad balls, but who doesn't?
that's when leftie (who is golfing towards me) says, "hey, you've got a good move ... but don't scrunch your arms up so much."
i just couldn't bring myself to say, "i know ... my large breasts keep getting in the way."
i think it's weird to advise strangers how to allegedly improve their game.
shame on me for not wearing a sports bra to keep the girls in line.
i'm looking forward to the clean air!
marriott announced today that they are going 100% smoke-free. i can't wait. october 15th cannot come fast enough!
7.21.2006
phone call
a woman named marina called me yesterday from the inland valley daily bulletin. apparently, they have a photo of joe and me that i submitted for our engagement announcement that they would like to return.
i called once. no answer; no machine. won't call back ... it's only been 4 years since we got engaged. i guess someone did a little summer cleaning ...
i called once. no answer; no machine. won't call back ... it's only been 4 years since we got engaged. i guess someone did a little summer cleaning ...
7.18.2006
business cards
nothing says "hi, i'm unorganized and a bit of a slob" than an rumpled up and / or dirty business card.
business cards remain with the recipient long after one has left. they should leave a good impression.
do yourself a favor and buy a little case for them, mr. rumpled, filthy business card guy.
i bet he doesn't turn his expense reports on time.
*disclaimer - this post refers only to professional organization and cleanliness issues.
business cards remain with the recipient long after one has left. they should leave a good impression.
do yourself a favor and buy a little case for them, mr. rumpled, filthy business card guy.
i bet he doesn't turn his expense reports on time.
*disclaimer - this post refers only to professional organization and cleanliness issues.
7.17.2006
f. too hot in the hot tub.
i just returned from 30.5 hours in the inland empire.
hot does not begin to describe the weather conditions in which i was forced to exist.
case in point. i started the trek home tonight at 8:10 pm ... it was 87 degrees ... just a mere 74 minutes later ... i was back in paradise ... 66 degrees. it doesn't get any better than that.
i wonder if i sweated any lbs off during my ordeal.
hot does not begin to describe the weather conditions in which i was forced to exist.
case in point. i started the trek home tonight at 8:10 pm ... it was 87 degrees ... just a mere 74 minutes later ... i was back in paradise ... 66 degrees. it doesn't get any better than that.
i wonder if i sweated any lbs off during my ordeal.
almost arrested at target!
i was stopped, by a rent-a-cop, today on my way out of target. one of the packages of pens i had (don't worry, they weren't for me!) had slipped down along the side of the cart and were caught. i didn't see them when i loaded my items onto the conveyor belt; thus i did not pay for them.
as i told the rent-a-cop that it was a mistake, he seized the pens. my sister, who was along for the adventure, advised that we still wanted them and i was ESCORTED to guest services to pony up my $1.08.
how f'ing embarassing!
as i told the rent-a-cop that it was a mistake, he seized the pens. my sister, who was along for the adventure, advised that we still wanted them and i was ESCORTED to guest services to pony up my $1.08.
how f'ing embarassing!
7.16.2006
hummers
tonight, sitting on my mom's patio, we were watching the hummingbirds. well, i wasn't, but my mom and grandma were marveling at them.
my eloquent brother-in-law suddenly exclaimed, "i love hummers!" my sister and i about wet our pants laughing ... it was fabulous.
the big question is, did grandma pick up on the joke?
my eloquent brother-in-law suddenly exclaimed, "i love hummers!" my sister and i about wet our pants laughing ... it was fabulous.
the big question is, did grandma pick up on the joke?
7.15.2006
my memory and retail relationships finally paid off!
i made a return today at a store at which i am a regular. i inadvertantly left my credit card at home, which the manager needed to process the credit.
i advised said manager that i know my credit card number by heart, and if she wouldn't mind entering the number manually, it would save me a trip back to the store.
she obliged, laughing the entire time at what a freak i am to know my credit card number.
i advised said manager that i know my credit card number by heart, and if she wouldn't mind entering the number manually, it would save me a trip back to the store.
she obliged, laughing the entire time at what a freak i am to know my credit card number.
big cars
in the illustrious words of my good friend, Malibu Tim ... "if you can't DRIVE the big car, don't BUY the big car."
this is true everyday. little sterling and i almost got killed by a woman in an excursion today.
this is true everyday. little sterling and i almost got killed by a woman in an excursion today.
7.12.2006
GOLF doesn't stand for "gentlemen only, ladies forbidden"
One of my reps told me that the word GOLF means "gentlemen only, ladies forbidden."
He's from Texas; I should have known he was telling tales. Below is the proof.
Golf History FAQ: Where Did the Word "Golf" Come From?
From Brent Kelley,Your Guide to Golf.
Does it Stand for "Gentlemen Only, Ladies Forbidden"? Did the word "golf" originate as an acronym for "gentlemen only, ladies forbidden"? That's a common old wives' tale. Or, in this case, more likely an old husband's tale.
No, "golf" is not an acronym for "gentlemen only, ladies forbidden." If you've ever heard that, forget it immediately. Better yet, find the person who told you and let them know it's not true.
Like most modern words, the word "golf" derives from older languages and dialects. In this case, the languages in question are medieval Dutch and old Scots.
The medieval Dutch word "kolf" or "kolve" meant "club." It is believed that word passed to the Scots, whose old Scots dialect transformed the word into "golve," "gowl" or "gouf."
By the 16th Century, the word "golf" had emerged.
Sources: British Golf Museum, USGA Library
i wonder if this constitutes sexual harassment?
He's from Texas; I should have known he was telling tales. Below is the proof.
Golf History FAQ: Where Did the Word "Golf" Come From?
From Brent Kelley,Your Guide to Golf.
Does it Stand for "Gentlemen Only, Ladies Forbidden"? Did the word "golf" originate as an acronym for "gentlemen only, ladies forbidden"? That's a common old wives' tale. Or, in this case, more likely an old husband's tale.
No, "golf" is not an acronym for "gentlemen only, ladies forbidden." If you've ever heard that, forget it immediately. Better yet, find the person who told you and let them know it's not true.
Like most modern words, the word "golf" derives from older languages and dialects. In this case, the languages in question are medieval Dutch and old Scots.
The medieval Dutch word "kolf" or "kolve" meant "club." It is believed that word passed to the Scots, whose old Scots dialect transformed the word into "golve," "gowl" or "gouf."
By the 16th Century, the word "golf" had emerged.
Sources: British Golf Museum, USGA Library
i wonder if this constitutes sexual harassment?
bad week for the staff
why me? i have had to fire two staff members this week. while i like to fire people in theory, it's really not my favorite thing to do.
i need a new housekeeper and hair stylist stat.
i need a new housekeeper and hair stylist stat.
the golf tournament
woohoo! i survived my first golf tournament. more importantly, the three men with whom i golfed survived. i know it was tough for them to golf with me all day ... they're all good golfers.
here are the highlights:
- 18 holes in 5 1/2 hours
- we actually used one of my drives as the team ball
- i made a birdie putt on the 6th hole
- we shared the course with wild turkey (the real ones, not the whiskey), deer, ducks and cows
- i almost killed a duck
- we drank lots of beer (collectively, i only had 2)
- we came in 9 under par with no bogeys! (and only used 8 mulligans)
it was a blast. i can't wait to golf again!
7.10.2006
cocktail hour
so last night, at the pre-golf cocktail hour, the bartender gave me a funny look when i ordered a vodka tonic. he kept looking at me and then said, "hey, do i know you from somewhere? you look familiar." I replied, "i don't think so ... i have a pretty good memory for faces." to which he replied, "oh i remember, didn't we date when i liked girls?" at that point i knew he was f'ing with me and fired back, "wow. i think you're right. now i remember!" to which he replied, "well, don't worry, it wasn't you, it was me." at that point, my boss and i were cracking up and decided that we heart dave the bartender.
7.09.2006
you're lucky that you don't work for me
my boss and i arrived famished in san francisco.
we headed to the hotel and got a bite to eat at the hotel restaurant. it was about 1 pm and the restaurant was empty. that should have been our first clue.
a server approached our table and inquired, "how are you today?" we stated that we're fine ... and asked him the same. he replied, "well, i'm wondering if this day will ever end. i've been here since 6 am and i'm counting the minutes until i go home. can i get you something to drink?"
the service was bad (duh) ... bad enough to f with the server. for example, if i had been with someone other than my boss i could have pulled my district manager bit. this is when i advise sparky that i am the new marriott dm and i am doing a hotel / restaurant check. based on his service / demeanor / eagerness to leave ... i would be signing him up for a permanent vacation.
we headed to the hotel and got a bite to eat at the hotel restaurant. it was about 1 pm and the restaurant was empty. that should have been our first clue.
a server approached our table and inquired, "how are you today?" we stated that we're fine ... and asked him the same. he replied, "well, i'm wondering if this day will ever end. i've been here since 6 am and i'm counting the minutes until i go home. can i get you something to drink?"
the service was bad (duh) ... bad enough to f with the server. for example, if i had been with someone other than my boss i could have pulled my district manager bit. this is when i advise sparky that i am the new marriott dm and i am doing a hotel / restaurant check. based on his service / demeanor / eagerness to leave ... i would be signing him up for a permanent vacation.
CAR RENTAL TIP
if you're going to rent a car at an airport ... do yourself a TREMENDOUS favor and sign up for the rental car company's preferred member program. At Avis it's called "Preferred" ... at Hertz it's called "Gold Member" ... I think it's "Fastlane" at Dollar ... etc. The programs are typically free of charge to join; they simply require a credit card number to hold your reservation. (It's not like a hotel; they don't charge you if you don't cancel a reservation. And you can pay with cash or debit card when you turn the rental car in.)
I flew to San Francisco today; the lines in the rental car building were HUGE. People were waiting upwards of one hour to get the keys to their cars.
However, the "preferred" members got to bypass the line and go straight to their cars. The contracts are electronically printed up and placed in the cars. When one exits the lot, all that has to be shown is the contract and the driver's license. It's that easy! It can be a major time saver; especially when flying in and out of large airports.
I flew to San Francisco today; the lines in the rental car building were HUGE. People were waiting upwards of one hour to get the keys to their cars.
However, the "preferred" members got to bypass the line and go straight to their cars. The contracts are electronically printed up and placed in the cars. When one exits the lot, all that has to be shown is the contract and the driver's license. It's that easy! It can be a major time saver; especially when flying in and out of large airports.
so how bad do i feel?
i headed straight to the ladies when i landed in san francisco today. there was no line.
so i took my time. answered a couple of emails via the blackberry ... took a picture of a sign in the stall (photo documentation will be posted when i'm back home) ... "brush up'd" my teeth ... did a little lip gloss ... didn't rush at all.
so imagine how badly i felt when i finally exited the stall to see a line of women about 12 people deep. i didn't think i was in there that long.
wow. i suck.
so i took my time. answered a couple of emails via the blackberry ... took a picture of a sign in the stall (photo documentation will be posted when i'm back home) ... "brush up'd" my teeth ... did a little lip gloss ... didn't rush at all.
so imagine how badly i felt when i finally exited the stall to see a line of women about 12 people deep. i didn't think i was in there that long.
wow. i suck.
paging mr. baldwin
well, this just keeps getting better.
not only is there a double secret lounge, but now they're paging Mr. Baldwin.
could it be Alec? Or Billy? Or Daniel? Or the other one? i must get in there so i can finally break into fame.
or maybe i'll just publish my blog ... however, that would make me infamous, not famous.
not only is there a double secret lounge, but now they're paging Mr. Baldwin.
could it be Alec? Or Billy? Or Daniel? Or the other one? i must get in there so i can finally break into fame.
or maybe i'll just publish my blog ... however, that would make me infamous, not famous.
double secret first class lounge????
need to know what's going on.
the admiral's club has a double secret first class lounge. imagine the celebs in there!
i have no idea how to gain access; i'm a member ... i fly first class pretty frequently ... both by upgrading and by paying for the ticket ... so what am i doing wrong?
must find out.
on a side note ... had to put my golf clubs in the front seat of my car, with the top down in order to get my suitcase and clubs to the airport. oh if only i had a driver with a shiny black Lincoln Towncar.
photo documentation to follow.
the admiral's club has a double secret first class lounge. imagine the celebs in there!
i have no idea how to gain access; i'm a member ... i fly first class pretty frequently ... both by upgrading and by paying for the ticket ... so what am i doing wrong?
must find out.
on a side note ... had to put my golf clubs in the front seat of my car, with the top down in order to get my suitcase and clubs to the airport. oh if only i had a driver with a shiny black Lincoln Towncar.
photo documentation to follow.
ironing
i dragged out the iron last night after i realized that it costs about $18/week to keep me in clean, pressed shorts. (that's like $14.25 more than Netflix!)
i am not one to obsess about the price of anything, however, $72/month is a little out of control ... especially when i don't even wear the shorts to work!
i loathe ironing. it sucks. ass. but i realized last night that perhaps i don't like to do it because i don't have cool tools.
so, next stop ... some place where they sell cool irons / boards / covers. do you think joe would notice if the iron was pink?
i am not one to obsess about the price of anything, however, $72/month is a little out of control ... especially when i don't even wear the shorts to work!
i loathe ironing. it sucks. ass. but i realized last night that perhaps i don't like to do it because i don't have cool tools.
so, next stop ... some place where they sell cool irons / boards / covers. do you think joe would notice if the iron was pink?
7.08.2006
why didn't i think of this earlier?
i love being the only girls on the sales team at my current job.
i love being successful in a boy dominated industry. especially now that i have the hardware chains.
i love football.
i like hanging out with the boys.
i love being successful in a boy dominated industry. especially now that i have the hardware chains.
i love football.
i like hanging out with the boys.
so why in the hell did it take me so long to pick up golf? joe and i went to hit balls this morning and i was the only girl for as far as the eye could see. I LOVE IT!
7.04.2006
golf
i love playing golf.
okay ... except for the fact that i'm allergic to everything on the course ... but the rest is fabulous!
my husband has tried for years to get me to play. i think it's really the adorable shoes that put it all together for me. :-) that and the fact that i HAVE to play for work functions.
but in the end it's a good time. i'd take 18 holes and an inhaler to a day full of meetings ANYDAY!
7.01.2006
narcissist!
it really pisses me off to see people watering down their sidewalks and driveways. don't you realize that water is a very precious resource, mr. neighbor? are you really too lazy to break out a push broom and dustpan to clean up your area? i wish ventura would adopt miami's water laws where you can actually get fined for watering your lawn on the wrong day!
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