we all scream for ice cream

i want to buy an ice cream truck.
my husband has requested a business plan.

first, i have to find a reasonably priced truck. found a couple on eBay tonight ... they're about 3x what i was expecting.

but i won't let the dream die. i'm getting an ice cream truck. it just might take a little while.

super hot cowboy hat

this hat sat in front of me on the plane today. didn't get a chance for a good photo until we were deplaning. super hot. i was extra impressed with the use of cocktail swords that probably held fruit before they were appropriated to hat decor. :-)

focus, julie, focus

i am in the lovely state of texas as i had a meeting with AAFES this morning. (army air force exchange services) i've been there before...i know it's on a base and it's serious business. MPs are all over the place with big guns, etc. but this morning, as usual, i was running late (that really wasn't my fault ... marriott sucks ass) and i was on the phone.

i was still on the phone when i arrived. i wasn't ready to check in with the head MP ... so i pulled over to finish my conversation. during my converstation, my rep pulled up in front of me and checked in. apparently, the MPs were just about to come over and question what the hell i was doing parked on the base without checking in. apparently, that behavior raises some red flags. mike vouched for me and we checked in.

when i got to the actual entrance, the MPs asked if i'd been there before (i was back on the phone by now) ... i advised that i had and they told me to have a nice day. well, i had never gone in THAT entrance and apparently i was driving in places that i wasn't supposed to be driving and that kinda upset them. one of the MPs cut me off on foot and sternly told me where i was going to go. he had a really big gun so i was as demure as possible ... but seriously, i was driving a hyundai that had been searched. why must we sound the alarms?

i could never be involved with the military on a daily basis. too many rules.

3:30 in the morning

my phone started ringing this morning at 3:30 am CST. none of my customers or the home office would be up at that time ... so I ignored it and tried to go back to sleep.

it wouldn't stop. so against my better judgment, i answered.

"this is american airlines. flight XXXX leaving on august 29th has been cancelled. we have re-booked you on flight XXXY at 2:10 pm. you have been assigned seat 24E."

two hours delayed ... no biggie ... but a MIDDLE seat. seriously, that just doesn't fly with me. no pun intended. :-)

so i got the platinum desk on the phone ASAP. expressed my thanks for being rebooked, but begged for a better seat. sitting on a wing would have been better than sitting in the middle!

status has it's advantages. she got me an exit row aisle. in coach, you can't beat that.

by 4 am, i was all set. but i never fell back asleep. perhaps it's because the smell of texas doesn't agree with me?

i wish i looked that good without make up

i saw jennifer garner in the admiral's club today.
even with no make up and her hair tied back in a ponytail, she was absolutely adorable.

my poor little cell phone

first she was lost in las vegas.
now she's wet.

she was in my pocket and got wet when i de-boated today during a trip to pyramid lake. :-(

i think she'll be okay. she worked for a little while. then the SIM card went a little crazy. then i let her dry and she worked again.

she's currently air drying a little more in pieces in my office. sad. oh, so sad.

i hate being wrong

i really thought that the nosy neighbor on bewitched was named edna kravitz.

turns out that my husband is correct. her name was GLADYS KRAVITZ. (double checked on www.imdb.com) wow. i've been using an inaccurate pop culture reference for YEARS. i guess i too can be wrong.

how to know when you need a vacation

i showed up this morning to walk with my friend, kristine, and i had no shoes on. i had socks, but no shoes. i need a break.

my new favorite show

rick and steve: the happiest gay couple in all the world

www.happiestgaycouple.com

this is the best show in a LONG time. i just heart it! i highly recommend it. :-)

ps. mom - think of this as wayne's world. you probably won't care for it. :-(

day 2

still not healthy enough for a pedicure. pardon the ass paint job.

joe had to operate on my toe last night and let the blood out. it was HUGE. i was too beat to get out of bed and get the camera ... so let your imagination run wild.

i may just be the most clumsy girl in the world.

SUPER F

as if the last few days haven't been challenging enough, i tripped over one of lola's ubiquitous bones today and smashed my little toe into a bedroom door.

i really don't think i've ever had that much pain, that fast, that lasted that long. i must have yelled fuck a million times. and then burst into tears because the pain wouldn't subside.

it's been 5 hours. this is what my toe looks like now. not good. joe wants to pop the blood blister situation. i won't let him. although, i might break. it's still throbbing pretty hard. SUPER F.

ps. been a long week in dry, desert like weather. hence the sad state of my pedicure. (the chip happened in the accident). this will be handled tomorrow. they could only get me in for a massage today. i almost feel human again.

i would totally learn how to bbq if i had one of these ...

a vendor had one of these adorable grills at the show last week in vegas (she even has nipples) ... and he offered to sell her to me for cost ... $700 ... if i could get her home. i could only imagine joe's face if i'd showed up with a u-haul and a pink pig grill.

this vendor is going to be at both of my upcoming tradeshows ... one is in atlanta (too far to drive) and one is in denver. denver may be an option. :-)

i could have lost my head if it wasn't attached

i couldn't hang on to anything this week ... i guess 9 days in 105+ heat will do that to you!

i lost my cell phone on wednesday ... the following is an excerpt from a press released previously published outside of this blog.

"true story.

i didn't know where i lost my phone on wednesday night. and it was GONE before i started drinking. i knew i had it at the hotel ... and the last phone call went out at 4:17 pm. the only place it could have been was the restaurant, the taxi or the street. when the restaurant advised that they didn't have it, i wrote it off ... a stranger who found it on the street wouldn't be able to get it back to me, even if they tried.

so, i called it several times on wednesday night, hoping someone would pick it up. joe tried too. nothing. just voicemail.

yesterday morning, i tried again. and lupe, from las vegas western cab lost and found answered my phone! someone had turned it in! so i went down this morning and got her back! WOOHOO! i will so back up my sim card when i get home. i wasn't concerned about having to buy another phone, i just didn't want to have to enter in all of my information manually. not mention that i would have lost all of my cool graphics and tones! so, call me on my cell again ..."

on a side note ... when i got to the taxi company lost and found, a guy in the front inquired as to whether i was there to pick up my check ... seriously.

so if that wasn't bad enough, i lost my AMEX last night in downtown vegas. turns out, i left it in a bar at the golden nugget. however, it was in the SAFE by the time i got there and security had to retrieve it for me. i am so glad that i got to fill out two evidence-type forms yesterday and leave copies of my driver's license all over vegas.

i need to get back home. 9 days here was way too long ...

almost got my ass kicked

looked up yesterday at the tradeshow and immediately locked eyes with one of the tradeshow maintenance crew. i smiled.

she said, "what you laughing at?" her tone was frightening.

i looked away before she could kick my ass. she was a bit rough. i could have been hurt for being nice! so sad.

red licorice flavor

i broke down and had a tub of red vines in my booth at the show. granted, they probably became "pee pee red vines" 5 minutes after opening them as you never know how many people have washed their hands, but i digress.

a psycho vendor came over and exclaimed she just LOVES licorice and could she please have some. i advised she could.

she asked me if the licorice was strawberry or cherry flavored ... to which i replied, "it's red licorice flavor." she told me there wasn't such a thing.

i explained to this woman that red vines are red licorice flavor ... TWIZZLERS come in either strawberry or cherry. she told me i was wrong. i told her that it's a coast thing ... red wines are west coast and twizzlers are east coast.

she still didn't believe me.

so i advised that she should trust the chubby people. we know candy. (she was a twig and skinny people can't be expected to know the ins and outs of candy.)

she gave me a perplexed look and left. :-)

how dumb are the toy manufacturers?

another lead paint recall in about a week's time. who the hell is in charge here? among the affected ... barbie and tanner ... apparently tanner's poop is toxic. well, duh. what poop isn't toxic?

another day at LAX

i took a town car to LAX today.

i wish i could do this for every trip ... the sky caps are ALL OVER YOU when you get out of a town car. i was in the security line 3 minutes after the car stopped at the curb. of course i left my sunglasses on until i went through the metal detector to play into the mystery of my identity.

on a side note ... celebrity sighting. Fred Willard. I heart him. He is fabulous in the Christopher Guest moves ... my favorite being Best in Show.

blackout curtains

joe put up blackout curtains in our bedroom about a month ago.

we had no idea that they'd work so well. i overslept the first morning ... getting up at 10 am rather than 7!

after a month long struggle, we've resorted to tying one side back each night. otherwise, we may never make it to work on time again.

if you're having trouble sleeping ... they work like a charm!

elvis pez

gotta love that there are now elvis pez!

i picked a set up at vons ... i had no idea they're limited edition and already out of stock on http://pezco.securesites.com/catalog/index.php?cPath=91_153&osCsid=76f83942c01f959abe96cfa835ba0230.

i'm glad i have one ... even though joe and i found at least 200 pez in the garage today during our quarterly cleaning. they are safely stored away, however, i am donating the 150 beanie babies to the ventura county foster care program, so at least that's something.

funnel cake

i had funnel cake at the fair last night for the first time. i don't see what all of the excitement is about. it was gross. :-( i should have stuck to hot dog on a stick! :-)

the vest

i just don't understand the vest.

why not wear a jacket? or a sweatshirt? what good is the vest if no sleeves are available? i just don't get it.