11.19.2009
10.15.2009
9.12.2009
good idea?
i am wondering just how smart it is to be texting Jerry song requests at the wedding ... they may think he's going through another mid-life crisis
8.28.2009
bizarre
I go to Chicago - John Hughes dies
I go to Boston - Ted Kennedy dies
I go to New York - Dominick Dunne AND DJ AM die
All I have to say is that Michael Vick better watch his back ... I was just in Philly
I go to Boston - Ted Kennedy dies
I go to New York - Dominick Dunne AND DJ AM die
All I have to say is that Michael Vick better watch his back ... I was just in Philly
anxiety - black eyed peas
I don't fear none of my enemies
And I don't fear bullets from Uzis
I've been dealing with something thats worse than these
That'll make you fall to your knees
and that's the
The anxiety the sane and the insane rivalry
Paranoias brought me to my knees
Lord please please please
Take away my anxiety
And I don't fear bullets from Uzis
I've been dealing with something thats worse than these
That'll make you fall to your knees
and that's the
The anxiety the sane and the insane rivalry
Paranoias brought me to my knees
Lord please please please
Take away my anxiety
8.27.2009
travel musings
it's no secret that air travel security has evolved dramatically post 9/11 and after the thwarted terrorist attack in the UK several summers ago.
i play the game ... i participate in airport security theater almost every week. i don't feel any safer since 9/11 ... and certainly not since the usa went to what seems to be a permanent orange status. but, i take off my shoes, segregate my electronics, put my laptop in its own tub and smoosh my less than 3-oz liquids into a quart sized baggie so i can go to work.
homeland security is the result of 9/11 ... a desperate attempt to regain control on a seemingly out of control situation ... but how did they forget about the about trains?
i recently rode the acela from boston to new york and then new york to philly a couple of days later. no one checked my government issued identification against my ticket ... i didn't pass through a metal detector ... i didn't segregate my liquids ... and i took all of my baggage onto the train with me.
am i the only one that sees how wide open this leaves us for another attack? if we're going to stage security theater, then we need to do it and do it right. or give up and realize that there is no absolute control to be had and that everyday we wake up alive is a gift?
i play the game ... i participate in airport security theater almost every week. i don't feel any safer since 9/11 ... and certainly not since the usa went to what seems to be a permanent orange status. but, i take off my shoes, segregate my electronics, put my laptop in its own tub and smoosh my less than 3-oz liquids into a quart sized baggie so i can go to work.
homeland security is the result of 9/11 ... a desperate attempt to regain control on a seemingly out of control situation ... but how did they forget about the about trains?
i recently rode the acela from boston to new york and then new york to philly a couple of days later. no one checked my government issued identification against my ticket ... i didn't pass through a metal detector ... i didn't segregate my liquids ... and i took all of my baggage onto the train with me.
am i the only one that sees how wide open this leaves us for another attack? if we're going to stage security theater, then we need to do it and do it right. or give up and realize that there is no absolute control to be had and that everyday we wake up alive is a gift?
in other words, mind the gap?
how come "mind the gap" sounds so much cooler? maybe it's england calling me back?
philly to dallas
do i have a sign on my face that says, "please talk to me despite the fact that my headphones are in my ears?" i must ... as the drunk lady in 4E never shut up today ... i finally had to fake that i was asleep to get some relief.
i really wasn't interested in the fact that her son just is premiering a movie tomorrow in santa fe that stars joan allen and jeremy irons. it's for lifetime so in my book that really doesn't count.
but i will admit i was interested when she advised that her gay brother in 90210 had it on good authority that a certain A-lister married to a "cougar" is in fact gay himself.
i really wasn't interested in the fact that her son just is premiering a movie tomorrow in santa fe that stars joan allen and jeremy irons. it's for lifetime so in my book that really doesn't count.
but i will admit i was interested when she advised that her gay brother in 90210 had it on good authority that a certain A-lister married to a "cougar" is in fact gay himself.
8.24.2009
blues
if you don't know the blues ... there's no point in picking up the guitar and playing rock and roll." - keith richards
8.18.2009
marilyn monroe's eternal neighbors
Los Angeles, California - Buried Face-Down Above Marilyn Monroe
The "Man with an Eternal Smile?"
Joe DiMaggio had purchased two crypts in Westwood Cemetery for he and his famous wife, and while divorcing in 1954 sold his to Richard Poncher. The crypt Poncher bought was located directly above that which would eventually hold the remains of Marilyn Monroe (in 1962). Nearing death in 1986, Poncher told his wife "... if you don't put me upside down over Marilyn, I'll haunt you the rest of your life." Shortly before he was interred, his wife instructed the funeral director to place him upside down in his casket, which he did.
Recently Mrs. Poncher has decided to sell the crypt and move her husband to another site. The crypt is going to be listed on Ebay and the starting bid will be $500,000. [Phil Pasquini, 08/18/2009]
[RA: Phil updated us that bidding on eBay was already over $4.5 million. Note: Hugh Hefner had long ago reserved the spot next to Marilyn.]
The "Man with an Eternal Smile?"
Joe DiMaggio had purchased two crypts in Westwood Cemetery for he and his famous wife, and while divorcing in 1954 sold his to Richard Poncher. The crypt Poncher bought was located directly above that which would eventually hold the remains of Marilyn Monroe (in 1962). Nearing death in 1986, Poncher told his wife "... if you don't put me upside down over Marilyn, I'll haunt you the rest of your life." Shortly before he was interred, his wife instructed the funeral director to place him upside down in his casket, which he did.
Recently Mrs. Poncher has decided to sell the crypt and move her husband to another site. The crypt is going to be listed on Ebay and the starting bid will be $500,000. [Phil Pasquini, 08/18/2009]
[RA: Phil updated us that bidding on eBay was already over $4.5 million. Note: Hugh Hefner had long ago reserved the spot next to Marilyn.]
6.25.2009
melancholy
today is one of those days that i will remember what i was doing when i heard about the death of farrah fawcett and michael jackson. just like the day the challenger blew up, 9/11 and when reagan and john lennon were shot.
5.27.2009
5.16.2009
5.12.2009
merry merry merry
the shack has made the leap from dusty and dirty to a sty. it's been almost 4 weeks since our last housekeeper did her half-ass cleaning.
but, today, i am interviewing merry maids. temporary solution to a long-term problem. i don't care how much it costs, i want the shack in "move out condition."
and no, i won't clean it myself. never!
but, today, i am interviewing merry maids. temporary solution to a long-term problem. i don't care how much it costs, i want the shack in "move out condition."
and no, i won't clean it myself. never!
5.05.2009
follow me on twitter
due to time constraints and the ease of twittering on my blackberry, i foresee more twittering than blogging in my future.
www.twitter.com
iamthewalrus73
www.twitter.com
iamthewalrus73
4.26.2009
4.22.2009
sorta like goldilocks, but different
so, yesterday, during my somewhat uneventful flight from lax to dfw, i had a strange experience that reminded me of the story of goldilocks.
i was in 17D ... aisle. there was an empty middle seat (yea) and someone sitting in 17E (window).
as usual, i was asleep and 17E guy walked in front of me (it was an exit row so there was sorta enough room for him to do so) to go to the lavatory. i went back to sleep.
i felt / heard him come back. didn't pay much attention. was sleeping.
then an altercation broke out.
apparently the guy that returned DIDN'T BELONG IN THAT SEAT. so the squatter and the rightful occupant of 17E had some words. it wasn't pretty.
finally, the squatter left ... thank goodness as i hate being held on a plane in the destination city waiting for the marshalls (yep, i've been on that plane) ... and i went back to sleep.
i was in 17D ... aisle. there was an empty middle seat (yea) and someone sitting in 17E (window).
as usual, i was asleep and 17E guy walked in front of me (it was an exit row so there was sorta enough room for him to do so) to go to the lavatory. i went back to sleep.
i felt / heard him come back. didn't pay much attention. was sleeping.
then an altercation broke out.
apparently the guy that returned DIDN'T BELONG IN THAT SEAT. so the squatter and the rightful occupant of 17E had some words. it wasn't pretty.
finally, the squatter left ... thank goodness as i hate being held on a plane in the destination city waiting for the marshalls (yep, i've been on that plane) ... and i went back to sleep.
4.06.2009
3.31.2009
danger, danger
turns out, my RELATIVE was in NOLA at the very same time i was this past weekend ... so, of course, we had to get together.
she brought along her friends ... who are fabulous. i invited a couple of guys i know from work ... i've known them since i entered the hardware business about 4 years ago ... i know they're crazy, but this time, they were over the top and down the other side.
OMFG. perhaps i'm just immune to their antics. or grown to expect it. but, as this was the first time MY RELATIVE and her friends had met them, they were, i'm sure, a little on the shocked side. below is an excerpt i received after the night out. please remember that we were in NEW ORLEANS. wow, i hope MY RELATIVE and her friends survived without any permanent scarring ...
So, Bobo shows up to line up at my gate this afternoon. I, of course, don't say anything, but after a couple minutes he turns to me and says "Hey, didn't I party with you last night?" and proceeds to sit down next to me. He goes into a little bit of his night...got in at 530, still drunk when he got up at 8, felt great except his feet hurt from dancing so much, blah blah blah. He then calls his wife, which I figured was the end of our convo. Not so fast my friends.
After the brief phone call, he leans over and says, "So you missed a few things last night" and starts to show me some pics on his phone...one of which is of a bachelorette party with a giant novelty penis. At that point, the stranger woman next to us leans over and says, "Alright, now I have to see. It's ok, I'm in the business. (whispers) I have sex toys." Evidently she works for Slumber Party, which of course Bobo knew e'thing about, and of course, she was also at the trade show. After looking at his pic, she pulls out her camera and says check this out and shows us a pic of two people on Bourbon Street in full bondage gear, including whips and a collar/leash. They proceed to talk more about things, including boobs, flashing, Slumber Party products (she gave him her card), the shot girls from last night (evidently he spent another $100 on those stupid shots at the next bar), etc.
she brought along her friends ... who are fabulous. i invited a couple of guys i know from work ... i've known them since i entered the hardware business about 4 years ago ... i know they're crazy, but this time, they were over the top and down the other side.
OMFG. perhaps i'm just immune to their antics. or grown to expect it. but, as this was the first time MY RELATIVE and her friends had met them, they were, i'm sure, a little on the shocked side. below is an excerpt i received after the night out. please remember that we were in NEW ORLEANS. wow, i hope MY RELATIVE and her friends survived without any permanent scarring ...
So, Bobo shows up to line up at my gate this afternoon. I, of course, don't say anything, but after a couple minutes he turns to me and says "Hey, didn't I party with you last night?" and proceeds to sit down next to me. He goes into a little bit of his night...got in at 530, still drunk when he got up at 8, felt great except his feet hurt from dancing so much, blah blah blah. He then calls his wife, which I figured was the end of our convo. Not so fast my friends.
After the brief phone call, he leans over and says, "So you missed a few things last night" and starts to show me some pics on his phone...one of which is of a bachelorette party with a giant novelty penis. At that point, the stranger woman next to us leans over and says, "Alright, now I have to see. It's ok, I'm in the business. (whispers) I have sex toys." Evidently she works for Slumber Party, which of course Bobo knew e'thing about, and of course, she was also at the trade show. After looking at his pic, she pulls out her camera and says check this out and shows us a pic of two people on Bourbon Street in full bondage gear, including whips and a collar/leash. They proceed to talk more about things, including boobs, flashing, Slumber Party products (she gave him her card), the shot girls from last night (evidently he spent another $100 on those stupid shots at the next bar), etc.
3.26.2009
seriously?
i knew it was too good to be true.
turns out the new orleans trip could be all washed up, so to speak.
i made it down here without any drama, but we're on tornado AND flood watch.
seriously, how do people live here?
turns out the new orleans trip could be all washed up, so to speak.
i made it down here without any drama, but we're on tornado AND flood watch.
seriously, how do people live here?
3.24.2009
very excited
while i'm totally beat from 5 days in chicago ... i cannot wait to hit new orleans on thursday. CANNOT WAIT. i haven't been there for 7 years ... and while it is one of the smelliest places in the country (vomit, vodka, sewer) ... it is one of my favorite places to visit. however, it's way dangerous and i am considering hiring security. seriously.
3.08.2009
3.07.2009
time
where has the last month gone? time is whizzing by like never before. perhaps it's all of the time i spend on the road?
joe and i just got back from vegas ... 5 days in sin city. i was there for work ... joe came along for the fun. i must state here that i'm so over vegas. has it always smelled like a giant ashtray? how sad is it that we stayed at a marriott property because it's smoke-free? how's that for getting old? but we did manage to gamble a little, eat some great food and see a couple of shows. but seriously, if i never go back, it'll be too soon.
next trips: chicago and new orleans. can't wait.
joe and i just got back from vegas ... 5 days in sin city. i was there for work ... joe came along for the fun. i must state here that i'm so over vegas. has it always smelled like a giant ashtray? how sad is it that we stayed at a marriott property because it's smoke-free? how's that for getting old? but we did manage to gamble a little, eat some great food and see a couple of shows. but seriously, if i never go back, it'll be too soon.
next trips: chicago and new orleans. can't wait.
2.04.2009
to publish or not to publish?
i have over 200 letters that i have written over the past 10 years that i came across today.
most are "hey, you could have done XYZ a little better" letters, but there are several relating to praise as well. the recipients range from hotels to consumer packaged goods companies to the airlines.
i am seriously considering having the decade of letters published.
working title: how not to get f***ed by the man
most are "hey, you could have done XYZ a little better" letters, but there are several relating to praise as well. the recipients range from hotels to consumer packaged goods companies to the airlines.
i am seriously considering having the decade of letters published.
working title: how not to get f***ed by the man
2.02.2009
congrats
congrats go out to miss sophia on her two tooth strong bottom gum! did i mention that her first tooth erupted while at the shack on vay-kay? i wonder if there is a card for such an occasion!?!
resolution - late in the making
i resolve to walk at the beach at least two times a week.
kristine's picking me up in the morning. she goes daily. she's such a stud.
kristine's picking me up in the morning. she goes daily. she's such a stud.
the end
the ride is gone. not sure to where it fled, but it's out of my area. score one for the good guys.
2.01.2009
day 7
oj's look-a-like ride is still in front of my house.
i may have to stakeout a do-nut shop to get some action.
i have restrained myself against doing harm to the ride. except for the daily sprinkler shower it's getting, but i'm so sure they don't even care. bastards.
i may have to stakeout a do-nut shop to get some action.
i have restrained myself against doing harm to the ride. except for the daily sprinkler shower it's getting, but i'm so sure they don't even care. bastards.
1.31.2009
winter in ventura
it's official. winter has bypassed ventura. joe and i walked at the beach for a couple of hours today in a tee shirt and shorts ... this is absolutely the life.
sea glass
i think i hit the 100 lb mark with the sea glass that i collected at the beach this afternoon. it is the one collection that i will not part with, even if joe calls it "trash."
1.30.2009
baby did a bad, bad thing
well, sorta bad.
so, it's really no secret that i loathe most of my neighbors. i know, i'm a bit of a snob. but seriously, don't any of them have any respect for themselves? their high-priced real estate? hell, just for their neighbors? that was rhetorical. i know they don't; most of them are pigs.
but, flashback to monday. i drove up to my house only to see the twin of oj's getaway bronco parked in front of my house. it's in horrible repair and may be leaking something. it has to be connected to the residents of the dwelling next door ... but i'm not positive. it was late, i was crabby, but seriously, i really don't want to look out of my windows and see oj's ride in front of my house. if you're going to park there, the car needs to be something to look at ... like a bentley. i quietly seethed and hoped it would be gone in the morning.
but no. days pass. the car still sits. it's still there as a write this post.
but it'll be gone come early next week. i did what i had to do. i reported the car to the abandoned car hotline. as far as i am concerned, it is abandoned. it should be towed monday or tuesday.
so bye, bye to oj's ride. how much trouble do you think i'd get into for painting the curb in front of my house red?
ps. as shocking as it may seem, this is not the first car i have had towed for parking malfeasance.
so, it's really no secret that i loathe most of my neighbors. i know, i'm a bit of a snob. but seriously, don't any of them have any respect for themselves? their high-priced real estate? hell, just for their neighbors? that was rhetorical. i know they don't; most of them are pigs.
but, flashback to monday. i drove up to my house only to see the twin of oj's getaway bronco parked in front of my house. it's in horrible repair and may be leaking something. it has to be connected to the residents of the dwelling next door ... but i'm not positive. it was late, i was crabby, but seriously, i really don't want to look out of my windows and see oj's ride in front of my house. if you're going to park there, the car needs to be something to look at ... like a bentley. i quietly seethed and hoped it would be gone in the morning.
but no. days pass. the car still sits. it's still there as a write this post.
but it'll be gone come early next week. i did what i had to do. i reported the car to the abandoned car hotline. as far as i am concerned, it is abandoned. it should be towed monday or tuesday.
so bye, bye to oj's ride. how much trouble do you think i'd get into for painting the curb in front of my house red?
ps. as shocking as it may seem, this is not the first car i have had towed for parking malfeasance.
published
the letter i posted on 01.16.09 was actually published in the ventura county star yesterday! it's official. i am published AND infamous.
1.16.2009
library
At thirty-five, I realize that I am a product of the 80s … “everything all the time,” to quote the Eagles. I am a consumer, a collector and a spender. But as the economy takes a dive, I have become to realize that there is more to life than stuff.
I quickly realized that I was spending upwards of $200 a month on books! I know I am a voracious reader, but $200? Typically, I only read these books once and then they’re off to collect dust on a bookshelf, be sold at a yard sale or donated to Friends of the Library. Not to mention how much paper I alone was wasting.
A couple of months ago, I got my first library card since I graduated from college in 1995. I was excited. I had missed the sereneness of the library. The mystery of the library. The mere system of the library. The library has rules and I’m a sucker for a good rule. I have no idea how I could have stayed away so long.
The best part of my library experience was learning just how up to date the libraries of Ventura County have become in my absence. Before my adventure at H.P. Wright Library in Ventura, I didn’t know that I could open an account on www.vencolibrary.org, search, renew and reserve books, as well as be notified by email when my selected books are ready for pick-up at the library of my choice. Suddenly, every book in the Ventura County Library system was a keystroke away. I immediately updated my impression of the library. It is now much more than a card catalogue, microfiche and a date stamp. The library is part of the 21st century and I am elated that we are reacquainted.
I quickly realized that I was spending upwards of $200 a month on books! I know I am a voracious reader, but $200? Typically, I only read these books once and then they’re off to collect dust on a bookshelf, be sold at a yard sale or donated to Friends of the Library. Not to mention how much paper I alone was wasting.
A couple of months ago, I got my first library card since I graduated from college in 1995. I was excited. I had missed the sereneness of the library. The mystery of the library. The mere system of the library. The library has rules and I’m a sucker for a good rule. I have no idea how I could have stayed away so long.
The best part of my library experience was learning just how up to date the libraries of Ventura County have become in my absence. Before my adventure at H.P. Wright Library in Ventura, I didn’t know that I could open an account on www.vencolibrary.org, search, renew and reserve books, as well as be notified by email when my selected books are ready for pick-up at the library of my choice. Suddenly, every book in the Ventura County Library system was a keystroke away. I immediately updated my impression of the library. It is now much more than a card catalogue, microfiche and a date stamp. The library is part of the 21st century and I am elated that we are reacquainted.
1.15.2009
i don't wanna
i think it's a travesty on the part of the airline industry to show footage of a us airways plane crash in the admiral's club in terminal c at dfw.
now i don't wanna fly home.
now i don't wanna fly home.
1.07.2009
new year, not safer in the skies
it's been 2.5 years since the foiled terror attack in london raised the united states' security level to ORANGE.
since then, it's been 3-1-1. 3 ounces, 1 quart-size plastic baggie (ziploc must be loving this), 1 bag per traveler.
couple this with the other post-9/11 restrictions and a traveler has to past through security knife-less, water-less, sharp-pointed scissors-less and shoe-less.
yesterday, while traveling through a major airport in the southwest, i passed through security with flying colors. i was deemed not a threat to my fellow travelers. (don't even get me started about innocent until proven guility implications).
they've thought of everything, right?
wrong! will someone explain to me why i had to eat a chicken breast with a plastic knife in an airport restaurant, BUT got to take my unfinished iced tea with me, on the plane, in a GLASS bottle?
GLASS bottle? Is that any less dangerous than my teeny swiss army knife? seriously.
it's just a matter of time. a matter of time.
since then, it's been 3-1-1. 3 ounces, 1 quart-size plastic baggie (ziploc must be loving this), 1 bag per traveler.
couple this with the other post-9/11 restrictions and a traveler has to past through security knife-less, water-less, sharp-pointed scissors-less and shoe-less.
yesterday, while traveling through a major airport in the southwest, i passed through security with flying colors. i was deemed not a threat to my fellow travelers. (don't even get me started about innocent until proven guility implications).
they've thought of everything, right?
wrong! will someone explain to me why i had to eat a chicken breast with a plastic knife in an airport restaurant, BUT got to take my unfinished iced tea with me, on the plane, in a GLASS bottle?
GLASS bottle? Is that any less dangerous than my teeny swiss army knife? seriously.
it's just a matter of time. a matter of time.
text message sent by my husband to kristine re: blackberry loss
FYI...Julie has misplaced her cellie and will be unable to provide a blow by blow description of her life for the next. 24-48 hours...we apologize for this programming change...
1.06.2009
pay phone
a. airports still have payphones.
b. however, i didn't know how to use it.
c. figured it out. can't wait to see the bill.
d. why don't they sell pre-paid cell phones at the airport? they're not always used for evil.
b. however, i didn't know how to use it.
c. figured it out. can't wait to see the bill.
d. why don't they sell pre-paid cell phones at the airport? they're not always used for evil.
blackberry gone
she is lost.
this is way worse than when i had no signal on that cruise ship. at least then i knew where she was.
i am lost.
this is way worse than when i had no signal on that cruise ship. at least then i knew where she was.
i am lost.
1.05.2009
happy new year!
i could not be happier that 2008 is FINALLY over.
while i'm thankful to be gainfully employed, i would like to change things up a bit. i KNOW that i have a book lurking around somewhere inside of my head ... and i think it's time to start working on it. no, i won't do anything crazy, like quit my day job, but i just believe there is something more to my life than selling toilet bowl brushes. i feel like i am capable of doing something extraordinary.
wish me luck!
while i'm thankful to be gainfully employed, i would like to change things up a bit. i KNOW that i have a book lurking around somewhere inside of my head ... and i think it's time to start working on it. no, i won't do anything crazy, like quit my day job, but i just believe there is something more to my life than selling toilet bowl brushes. i feel like i am capable of doing something extraordinary.
wish me luck!
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