brady bunch

i just discovered that the brady bunch ran from 1969 - 1974.
which means every episode i saw was a rerun. i thought that was a current series when i was a kid in the late 70s early 80s.

brings a whole new meaning to "it's new to me."

ps. my friend kristine told me that ann b. davis is a lesbian. does anyone have any info on that?

creative packaging

i have a book to return to amazon.com. as i am so tidy, i already broken down and recycled the box it came in ... it's an odd shape, so it was tough to find a box large enough. so i improvised.

i cut two large UPS boxes and wrapped them around the bubble wrapped book. since i'm sending it USPS, i covered up all mentions of UPS with priority stickers.

but it was going to cost $15 to send it priority mail ... so i am sending it media. i hope they understand my messages. :-)

should be interesting. can't wait to see if it makes it!

wisdom tooth drama

the wisdom tooth situtation is getting out of hand.

had #1 and #32 pulled on june 4th.

#32 has caused me great pain.

so much that i may have to have surgery. yippee.

this is my mouth. i'm wondering where my front teeth are, because i still have them.

not sure when the saga is going to be over. i'm on pain killer rx #3. it's super sad.

90069

just learned that the zip code of 90069 belongs to west hollywood.

i absolutely love it ... how cool is that? i wish my zip code was 90069.

lunch in mississippi

had lunch at a place called "Dale's" yesterday in Southaven, Mississippi.

they actually had cheeseburgers made with velveeta. see attached. ew!

fortune cookies

there was no fortune in my fortune cookie tonight.

that can't be good.

people are strange

on my lax to dfw leg today, i was one of the first passengers seated. that meant i could watch a lot of the passengers board ... which is a great time.

one guy strolled down the aisle with a brown paper shopping bag ... with handles. inside were 3 boxes of fruit loops. why, i wondered. fruit loops are available just about everywhere ... and it was only a 2.5 hour flight ... while i understand bringing snacks with one while traveling ... was he really going to eat 3 boxes during the flight?

i lost sight of him when we deplaned. it's such a free for all when that little bell goes off that i was lucky to escape with my life; let alone track fruit loop boy.

why i loathe the dentist

i had my last two wisdom teeth pulled today.
I NEVER would have consented if the last two had gone so poorly.

mr. dentist couldn't get my bottom right wisdom tooth to budge. so, rather than give up, tell me to eat lots of sugar and hope it falls out on its own, he got a SAW and cut it out of my jaw. that's right. with the saw noise and EVERYTHING. i thought i was going to die. or break a finger from gripping the chair so hard.

so, after all of that (did i mention the tears streaming down my face?), he had the AUDACITY to tell me that ibuprofen would be enough for the pain. i don't think so!

i took one vicodin and i can still hardly stand the pain. seriously.

the flamingos are back!

Original pink flamingo lawn ornament reborn in new US factory
The Associated Press
Friday, June 1, 2007

BOSTON: The original pink flamingo lawn ornament — the Americans' answer to the ubiquitous garden gnome — is making a comeback after its manufacturer went out of business last year.

A company that bought the copyright and plastic molds for the original version plans to resume production in Westmoreland, New York. HMC International LLC will pick up where Union Products Inc. left off last year when it shuttered its Leominster, Massachusetts, plastics factory after 50 years of making the kitschy, bright pink birds.

J.C. Waszkiewicz, head of family-owned HMC, said Thursday he expects retailers who buy his firm's flamingoes wholesale will appreciate subtle design differences between knockoff versions and the original by Don Featherstone, who studied art before Union Products hired him in 1956 to expand its lawn ornament lineup.

"Once I began discussions about buying Union Products, I started examining the different products on the market, and I realized Mr. Featherstone created a great-looking flamingo," said Waszkiewicz, whose firm closed on its purchase of Union Products in April for an undisclosed price. "There are other people who have tried to capitalize on his design, but none that I've seen hold a candle to the quality and detail he created."

Waszkiewicz's firm expects to resume Featherstone flamingo production by the end of summer. After Union Products ceased production last June, uncertainty surrounding the fate of the original led aficionados to snap up remaining stock in retail stores and secondhand Featherstone flamingos, in case those models became unavailable for good.

The molds are based on flamingos Featherstone sculpted from clay, working from photos of the graceful birds in National Geographic magazine.

The ornaments hit the market in the late 1950s when the color pink was in vogue, and America's exploding population of suburbanites sought to add flair to their lawns.

But the birds also came to symbolize bad taste, and some residential developments even banned flamingo ornaments from lawns. The bird also became a target of pranksters, some of whom swiped the ornaments from front yards, took them on the road, and then sent photos to their owners showing the kidnapped birds in front of sights like the Grand Canyon.

The flamingos typically sell at $10 to $20 (€7 to €14) for boxed sets of two — one standing nearly 3 feet (90 centimeters) high with its head held proudly erect, the other bending over as if munching on grass. Their legs are spindly metal rods that can be planted in the ground. The Featherstone originals have their creator's signature etched into the bird's plastic rear end.

love it!

the "do not disturb" sign at the hotel has the following quote printed on it.

"Elwood: It's 106 miles to Chicago, we've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark and we're wearing sunglasses. Jake: Hit it."

how great is that?

superassdawg's

i was so excited to try a superdawg today.

i made a special trip ... the best chicago dogs are ALLEDGEDLY made here.

let me tell you ... it sucked. totally disappointed. greasy, salty ... just gross.

i so wish i could vomit.

WTF!?!

i just saw a commercial for white castle (never been a fan, but i digress) ... they are advertising "chicken rings" ... they're like donuts, but instead of fluffy donutty matter, the ring is made out of chicken!

question. what part of the chicken is shaped like a ring? huh? the hiney hole? maybe they should call these deep fried chicken sphincters. yum, yum!

i just might barf.

little debbie too!

i guess everyone is on the 100 calorie bandwagon! saw these little gems in a dominick's store on the northside of chicago today ... "little debbie, little debbie i'm coming home ... you make me walk like a camel"

resume killers

as quoted by www.careerbuilder.com this morning ...

Applicant attached a letter from her mother.
Applicant specified that his availability was limited because Friday, Saturday and Sunday was "drinking time."
Applicant explained that he works well nude.
Applicant explained an arrest by stating, "We stole a pig, but it was a really small pig."
Applicant drew a picture of a car on the outside of the envelope and said it was the hiring manager's gift.
Applicant explained a gap in employment by saying it was because he was getting over the death of his cat for three months.

i would love to meet these people!

who could have predicted ...

that i would get named Vendor of the Year at one of my major hardware customers? that's right HARDWARE. i never could have predicted this fabulous turn of events.

now ... let's just hope the title comes with a tiara.

did i mention?

that joe and i were out until 3 am this morning? i can't remember the last time we closed down a club and then went out for breakfast before the papers were delivered.

i would like to state here, for the record, that i have no idea how i did the bar / club / whatever thing so often in my 20s. there was not one guy there last night that wasn't:
a. dirty
b. crusty
c. vile
or
d. just downright scary
seriously. but it was an "older" crowd, so i totally hearted being one of the "young" ones.

shockingly, i am not hungover today. not at all. tylenol and water are my new best friends. i guess i did learn something valuable in my 20s after all. :-)

the stars at night are big and bright ... deep in the heart of texas!

so ... here's the alamo. in all of its glory.

still no basement. sorry, pee wee.

i can't believe i missed this toy!

Growing up Skipper

Growing up Skipper: a doll made from 1974 to 1977 by Mattel. You cranked her arm backwards in a circle, and her breasts grew. She would also gain half an inch in height. I had this doll, in its red leotard and wrap-around red and white checked skirt.

Did anyone have this doll?

lunch in san antonio

we stubbled on a quaint, mexican, highly colorful restaurant in san antonio today.

i swear, i've never seen so many pinatas or lights in one place before!

attached is photo documentation.

holy shit.

www.mitierracafe.com

coincidence?

my obsession with the alamo started when i was 12 and saw pee wee's big adventure for the first time.

you know ... pee wee's bike is stolen ... fortune teller advises it's at the alamo in the basement ... trek to san antonio commences ... no basement, no bike ... remember?

so how cool is it that i'm in san antonio right now and pee wee's big adventure is on tv? and bonus - the hotel in which i'm staying is less than 1/2 a mile from the alamo.

sometimes life is just too good.

you couldn't pay me to live here

arrived in san antonio at 8:27 pm CST on may 15th.
it was 90 degrees and STICKY FUCKING HUMID.

seriously, if it weren't for the alamo, i would LOATHE this place.

someone thinks she's too sexy for the valley

wow.

sprinkles!

first attempt at making an official sprinkles cupcake!

happy mother's day

seriously, why would one choose to wish a stranger "happy mother's day" when said stranger is sans child?

after my much needed pedicure this afternoon, the girl who processed my payment said, "bye. have a great mother's day."

when will my ovaries be big enough to break down at a time like that and announce to anyone that will listen that i'm barren? i'm not, but seriously, how many free treatments would that display have gotten me?

losing my religion, err wisdom

my two remaining wisdom teeth are scheduled for elimination on june 4th.

seriously, i've had them for this long. why can't i keep 'em mr. dentist?

day 37

the lip swelling is just about over.

all it took was a visit to my competent primary doctor ... some prednisone ... and the firing of my allergist by my regular doctor. she loathes him too.

so, let's keep our fingers crossed that i've lost that jolie lip look ...

happy birthday to me!

34 years young today! what a fun day! took 2 naps, got a massage, watched movies and had a great dinner ... woohoo! day 2 of birthday palooza was a success!

birthday palooza starts today!

start of a new month.
birthday is in less than a day.
i think i'm going to start a new tradition.

"birthday palooza!"

at least 2 weeks straight of birthday celebrating.

shouldn't be hard!

nobody puts baby in a corner

only 3 days until my birthday!

AND it's the 20th anniversary of dirty dancing (nope, don't feel old at all!) ... they've released the movie on the BIG SCREEN across the country for TWO DAYS ONLY. may 1st and 2nd! joe made dinner plans on my birthday, so we can't go that night ... but we can go on the 1st. i had to BEG to get him to agree to go with me. (btw, kristine and tim wouldn't go either ... so poor joe!). i can't wait! i've never seen it on the big screen!

WOOHOO!

day 26

fuck the allergist.
he's fired.
saw him again and now i'm on 3 antihistamines ... still swollen.

ate chilies and dairy ... no change.

maybe i'm allergic to him!

day 22

despite taking 2 antihistamines (strong ones) and sacrificing chilies (and now dairy) my lips are still swollen.

it's day 22.

eggs

there is an expiration date on eggs.
who knew?

this is gonna hurt

my upper lip has been swollen for at least two weeks.
it looks like i've had a botched collagen treatment.
the cause - i'm allergic to something.

well, duh.

so after ANOTHER visit to the allergist, he's decided that i am not to eat anything spiced with chilis, in ANY form, for two weeks. we think it's some kind of chili that's causing the reaction ... and since there are no blood or skin tests for chilis ... we are going the elimination route. no tabasco, no salsa, no hot sauce, no spice AT ALL. if the swelling has gone away ... i can start re-introducing the foods into my diet, one at a time ... waiting another two weeks to be sure it's not the culprit ... and so on.

basically, i'm performing one long-ass science experiment on myself.

oh, and what to do while we don't know? don't leave home without an epi pen and a cell phone. super fun.

f.

offices

day two of being in the home office in nj.
i'm so over working in an office.

i've probably spent 5 months max in an office during my career. it really and truly sucks. i like working at home. then when it's slow i can nap. can't nap here. and there's just too many people ... too much noise and distractions.

i wanna go home to my red office.

there just might be a coupon for everything ...

from this week's ventura reporter

dear mr. ditka ...

and i quote (me),

"Dear Mr. Ditka,

During our March 23rd visit to your restaurant, we received exemplary service! However, one of the team members stood out - Anna. She was instrumental in finding my lost Ben Franklin Action Figure - which was located in the second floor bar. As you can see by the enclosed photo, Ben had a great time.

Thank you for a fabulous evening.

Fondly,
Julie S. and Ben"

i mailed the letter yesterday, on pink stationery (no, it was not scented - name that movie), along with a copy of the picture of mike, my two friends and ben. i framed the picture so it would be SUPER easy for mike, or a member of his staff, to put the picture on the wall. awesome!

my new friends, barbie & tanner

this toy is the shit, so to speak!

you feed barbie's dog, tanner, treats, he poops them out, and barbie cleans up after him with her pooper scooper.

who the fuck thinks of this stuff?

ps. i totally bought one.

joe's birthday, mike ditka & ben franklin

as i was going to be out of town for yet another one of joe's birthday ... he flew to chicago to celebrate with me in the windy city. i don't think he knew what he was in for ...

on friday night ... the eve of his actual birthday ... we went to mike ditka's with five of my colleagues ... including my boss.

as to be expected with this group ... it was out of control. :-) to give you an idea, our server, jackson, referred to us as "his drinkers." love it.

so, during appetizers ... my boss returned to the table ... from the powder room and announced the DITKA HIMSELF was in the bar. WOOHOO! (i was kinda expecting it ... i've never been to ditka's when he wasn't there ... but i digress.)

gerianne, the only other girl in our party, was SO excited that we ran over to check him out. and there he was ... smoking a cigar at his own table ... and he was wearing his GIGANTIC superbowl ring. :-) gerianne was too afraid to talk to him, so i went downstairs, bought her a tee shirt and asked mr. ditka to sign it. which he did. (he had a sharpie!) then i asked if i could take his picture ... he obliged ... and I BLINDED him with my flash ... i apologized and scampered away.

a little while later, two of the guys in our party decided that they wanted me to take their picture with DA COACH. i offered to lend them my camera, but i was a little nervous to go back to ditka after i blinded him. they begged, offered to take my ben franklin action figure (he's like a gnome in our group ... he goes everywhere with us and even has a kite ... but i'm really digressing now), so i agreed.

we went back to ditka ... they posed, i took a flashless picture. it was too dark, so i advised mike to close his eyes as the flash was imminent. he took one for the team, so to speak, and the picture is perfect. ben is in touchdown formation.

after the photo session, i headed to the ladies. i figured the guys got ben. it wasn't until we were eating dinner that bobo (another story) got up quickly and retrieved ben from ditka's table. ben had been hanging with ditka the entire time!

as the evening progressed, we got drunker, which lead to more drama. my husband had SEVEN martinis ... holy crap. i then took apart one of the birthday blowouts we had at the table and made ben a birthday toga. he was adorable.

we were about done at this point ... and we headed to the bar to say goodnight to my boss and craig, another one of our friends ... they were watching the basketball games ... after that, joe and i headed back to the hotel.

that is when everything took a turn for the worse. as i was packing ben's kite for the show the next day, i realized that I HAD LOST BEN. it was a nightmare.

joe - who was passed out ... was no help. i called my friends, and my boss, but no one was picking up their phones. it was after 11 pm and ben was on his own.

i had no choice but to call ditka's. the woman that answered the phone checked our table, with our server and even asked the kitchen staff ... no one had seen ben.

i kinda panicked. he's our mascot! our gnome!

joe was really out at this point ... so i downloaded my pictures from the night ... after looking through them, i realized that i had ben when we visited my boss and craig at the bar.

so i called ditka's back. i talked with a guy ... advised that ben franklin was missing in the restaurant ... and he put me on hold ... he came back before he searched the 2nd story and took my name and number. he didn't laugh once.

15 long minutes passed ... then the phone rang. it was anna from ditka's. she advised that she had my DOLL. i told anna that he's really an action figure and that we'd be by the next morning to pick him up.

joe did the honors and ben is back safe and sound. kite and all.

yum yum! - sarcastic - "crap meat"

from hill street cafe in ventura, ca.

porta potty at 30+ stories

i'm staying downtown chicago on the 31st floor of the sofitel hotel.

a new high rise is being built across the street ...

the attached photo is what i saw this morning as i was looking out at lake michigan.

look for the blue dot in the center of the photo ... that is a new porta potty being hoisted up to the top floor for the workers.

this afternoon, the dell guy (who was installing a new keyboard / touch pad on my laptop) and i saw a porta potty going the other way ... i guess they have to send them down for emptying?

super gross!

when two worlds collide

a pink camry taxi in vegas. does it get any better than this?

you know you travel too much when ...

you have to pack dirty clothes for laundering at your next destination because the window of time between is too short to have them laundered at home. i shit you not.

viva las vegas

as i woke up in chicago today at 4 am CST ... and then flew to las vegas, i was a bit out of it when i landed in nevada at 9:00 am PST this morning. but not as out of it as the guy on a pay phone (i didn't think anyone used those anymore) who asked me "we're in seattle, correct?" as i walked past him. i was feeling a little petulant, but i did tell him the truth ... advising, "we're in vegas, baby."

seriously, that was the highlight of my day. today was one of the worst i have EVER endured at work ... it was so bad that i almost quit. seriously.

coin slot

did you know that the slang definition for "coin slot" is the butt crack a woman shows when bending over in low rise jeans.

super.

fanfuckingtastic

i speak dyson

so, we have the dyson animal vaccum cleaner. i swear ... for $500+ i would expect not to have to have a degree in home ec to run it.

joe has had to explain it a couple of times.

perhaps i don't get it because i just don't want to?

but i kinda did it today ... i'm kinda proud.

diner dash 2

i am addicted to diner dash 2. for those of you lucky enough not to know what this is, it's a computer game that sucks you in until you're playing in your sleep.

kind of how i was with hello kitty party pals.

i absolutely do not have time for this game. i know we're going to have to break up eventually, i'm just not ready yet.

sad state of affairs

i watched "are you smarter than a fifth grader tonight."

it scares me that people are truly this dumb. seriously. using "cheats" on questions such as ...

how many sides on a trapezoid?
what country shares the longest border with the USA?
what star is closest to the earth?
true or false? fiction books are not assigned numbers in the dewey decimal system.
how many decades are in two millennia?

unbelievable and pathethic.

love this marketing department!

live from the show floor in orlando, florida!

final tally for yesterday ... 17,010 steps. a new daily record for me!

i loathe trade shows. it is nearly impossible for me to be perky and pleasant for this many hours in a row.

coolest car ever

i'm glad no one is accompanying me to the airport!

i'm in florida for 7 days and 6 nights.

i packed one large suitcase, one medium garment bag on wheels, a carry-on and a medium sized tote bag. and i only brought 4 pairs of shoes (not including the pair i was wearing on the plane) ... so that's pretty good.

at least i thought so until i picked up one of my colleagues today. she's going to be here for 4 days and 3 nights. she had ONE carry-on (in which she packed her laptop!) and a medium sized PURSE. that's it.

maybe i overpacked?

just shake that ass

There are some songs that make you want to shake your ass.
And you have to do it.
Even if you have to lock yourself in the airport lavatory to satisfy the urge.

observation

40-something is entirely too old to fly to work (in a SUIT), with what's left of your hair sculpted into a mohawk. seriously.

super power

i really want to be able to see a cartoon-like bubble above people's heads when they're listening to their ipods that displays the song that's playing in their ears. an XM radio like display would be fine. i'm sure it would be a very interesting exercise in sociology.

$6,250

art. is it worth $6,250 for a painting you love?

what do your files say about you?

my boss sent me a box of his old files on friday. it's been a SUPER long time since i've looked at other people's files. i just assumed everyone got the cool colored folders and used different colored ink to write on the tabs.
i may be wrong. but seriously, manila doesn't rhyme with vanilla on accident.

sterling

as it is currently 90 degrees (and gorgeous) in ventura, sterling (my convertible) and i went for a little ride with the top down. there is NOTHING better than driving with the top down in weather like this. i do not hate my mortgage today.

for sweet

happy valentine's day!

bye bye tie

we went to a wedding over the weekend.
joe's tie was voted out of the wedding.
this is its final resting place.

lola's new toy

lola got a new toy.
it's a plush conversation heart.
instead of squeaking it says "i love you."
it's hilarious.

protuberance update

all is well with the protuberance. apparently, it's normal and should go away in a few months.

super.

protuberance

there is a protuberance at the extraction site of my upper left wisdom tooth.
it's pretty big and it bothers me. it also hurts when i push on it.

as it's been two weeks since the extraction, i called the dentist's office today.
he's concerned enough to want to see me immediately.
but he's not concerned enough to make me see a dentist in houston. (thank goodness).

appointment on thursday at 9 am. not excited.

picnic in seat 20F

as there are no windows to open on an airplane, i was forced to inhale the vile fumes of my row-mate's taco bell picnic today en route to houston. fucking stinky. and she was a smacker. i almost vomited.

two words

nipples?

don't these look like nipples?
this is the design on the bedspread at the courtyard in bloomingdale, il.
super hot.

where is julie?

i would not make a good administrative / executive assistant

in the span of 24 hours i broke a mailing tape dispensing gun, screwed up a couple of sets of 2-sided copies, and got in a fight with a stapler. my rep, who witnessed all of this, advised me not to ever use these items again. it wasn't pretty.

beyond cold

it's snowing. horizontally.
wind chill in bloomingdale, il is -9.
i really don't know how i'm going to go outside.
very scared of freezing to death.

anti-flatulence underwear!

www.under-tec.com

Under-Ease are underwear for protection against bad human gas (malodorous flatus) and are made from a soft air-tight fabric (polyurethane-coated nylon). To maintain the air-tightness, elastic is sewn into the material around the waist and both legs.
A triangular "exit hole" for the flatus to be expelled is cut from the back of the air-tight underwear, near the bottom. This "exit hole" is covered with a "pocket" made of ordinary porous fabric sewn over the "exit hole". This unique design forces all expelled gas (flatus) out through the "pocket".
Inside the "pocket" is a high-functioning, replaceable filter - the core of the technology. This multi-layered filter is made in a sandwich-style, and begins with the two outer layers of wool felt. The second two layers are made of non-woven polypropylene and spun glass materials. In the center of the filter is a single layer of activated carbon.
The filter is then covered with soft ordinary material to allow for easy replacement in or out of the pocket. The underwear are washable and will last approximately a year depending on the frequency of use and laundering. Each filter will last from several weeks to several months depending on the frequency of use and laundering.

i have requested an order form.

i'm going to pump, you up!

we went back to the gym this morning.
it's been almost 2 years since i've lifted weights ... but as i haven't lost any weight in the past month and HATE weight watchers as a result, i suggested to joe that we go back.

it was okay ... not as bad as i thought ... and now that we've made the first step, i am super hopeful that we'll keep going.

ipods help. and vicodin.

but what if i have to pee?

the lavatory was out of service this morning on aa #3193 from lax to san jose.

i can totally make it an hour ... and they did warn us, but what if we got stuck on the tarmac? had to circle san jose due to weather? it's a bit unnerving to know that you don't have an accessible toilet nor depends. i couldn't go to my big meeting today with a big pee stain on my ass. it was a lot of pressure. so to speak. :-)

joe advised that if i had to go, i should pee in the aisle. he was pretty sure that would get us a new plane.

let's recap. no snacks. no pillows. no playing cards. late departures and arrivals ('06 had the most delayed flights in recorded history). delayed baggage. and now no toilet access? i SO need a corporate jet and a driver.

super dramatic air traveler!

so, there was a c-list actor type ahead of me in the security line this morning.
he was traveling with a small rat-like dog. maybe a ferret? but i digress.

he set off the metal detector on the first walk-through.
he started in on a tirade about how he didn't know he had to get naked to go through security.

he walked through again. bells went off.

so did he.

he yelled at the TSA agent, "well, i guess it's the big cock ring on my dick that is setting it off."

brad, tsa boy, made him step to the side for a secondary screening. keep in mind that he's carrying the ferret-like creature through all of this.

none of the TSA agents wanted to screen him. big surprise. he was standing there, asking all of the women to please frisk him so he could move on. pig.

i left before the ferret-lover was cleared. maybe he wasn't?

gum is now a no-no?

my tooth / jaw / gums have been hurting for a good 24 hours now.
i did call for painkillers - but didn't take one this morning because i had to drive to the airport ... need to be cognizant for a meeting, etc. it hurts.

so, perhaps i shouldn't have chewed some gum this morning. it seemed like a good idea at the time. but not so much now. f.

dentist update

the dentist drama is over.
i have NO cavities, NO need for crowns or root canals. NOTHING.

i had two wisdom teeth pulled this morning ... that's it. i get to keep the other two.

back on track. rock on.

camry magnet

i purposely parked in the middle of nowhere this afternoon at target. there were no cars for miles.

i was only in target for 10 minutes.

and this is what happened. i checked for dents, just in case.

(please note that my car is free of westlake audi license plate frames.)

dentist

shame on me for waiting so long to go to the dentist.
bill clinton was in office the last time i went.

it was so bad today that they only did one side of my mouth. rest tomorrow. i am such a wimp!

i have to have my wisdom teeth pulled and who knows what else.

oh, maybe this princess will have to get a crown? :-)

vampires in ventura?

ew!!!!!!

improvisation

there is no bathtub in my hotel room. i neglected to bring a bucket back with me from the office. i had to soak my bloody stump of a toe.

i see mops & brooms

it's a winter wonderland!

quickie manufacturing - cinnaminson, nj

clean panty insurance

i was delayed overall 3 hours due to weather last night, but i made it to philly despite a couple of cancelled flights.

i attribute it all to "clean panty insurance." if i hadn't had a clean change of clothes, i know i would have been stuck in dal-ass. but alas, i made it all the way, luggage and all. :-)

snow sucks

if i wanted to deal with snow every week i would move to a snowy locale.
i am super tired of snow derailing my life. i lugged a roller bag with me today because i am convinced that i will be snowed in at a marriott in dallas. at least i'll have clean panties and my gameboy. maybe i should have packed a snowblower.

recovery

my toe is feeling better after surgery on monday. it's kinda bloody and goopy still, but it feels a lot better. :-)

can't wait to know how it feels after walking through lax, dfw and phl airports tomorrow. :-(

super cold

it is so cold tonight that a snowflake appeared next to the temperature tonight on sterling's dashboard. super cold.

paparazzi in training

after a leisurely dinner in malibu tonight, malibu tim and i toured the site of last week's fire. we stopped by suzanne's house ... it's too bad that there wasn't a door on which we could knock. :-(

i'm super glad we weren't picked up by the malibu police for parking at odd angles so we could use my headlights as flood lights.

out of respect for those who lost their homes, no photo documentation was obtained. that and we didn't have a camera with a flash.

save the environment and save money!

starbucks will take $0.10 off of each beverage for which you bring in your own cup. not a bad deal!

it happened again!

last march i posted the following ... 10 months later i am still being harassed by my audi dealer! i picked up my car this morning and ANOTHER FRAME HAD MATERIALIZED. it has been discarded. the following still applies!

3.22.2006

harassed

to my local audi dealer:

isn't it enough that i leased an overpriced audi from your dealership? my payments are never late; i take amazing care of my car; i drive topless often; and i speak POSITIVELY about your dealership often. i would send my mom to buy a car from you ... you are that fabulous.i think that's enough. i'm holding up my end of the bargain ... so STOP PUTTING A DEALER LICENSE PLATE FRAME ON MY CAR WHEN I GET SERVICE. the previous frames didn't fall off of my car ... i removed them, ON PURPOSE. yes, even i know how to use a phillips head screwdriver! the car is 16 months old. i'm tired of unscrewing the license plate frames. i think i'm going to remove the screws and glue the plate directly on the car. you don't want that. it'll be ugly when i turn in the lease.give it up. i won't give you daily free advertising. ever.

a4 cabriolet enthusiast

sad

i have to have surgery on my left foot's big toe. not looking forward to it ... but at least i have hello kitty bandaids!

al, i believe you!

it was 88 today in ventura.
mr. gore, you are correct. global warming does exist and is a serious problem.

camera

my camera has returned safe and sound. kudos to hertz at DFW for handling this situation so fabulously. they are a bright spot in a state of otherwise dismalness.

1/2 way there

i am 1/2 way to flying a million miles on american airlines.
once i hit a million miles i am a gold member in their elite system for life.
2 million = platinum ... i'm only 33 ... i may just hit 2 million

too bad i can't transfer my 200,000 united miles over to american ... :-(

super clusterfuck

american airlines ... lax ... baggage claim ... january 3, 2007 ... 21:00 ... unconscionable

karma

i cashed in all of my karma points today. i left my camera in the hertz rental car in dallas yesterday ... but didn't realize it was gone until 10 hours later ... anything could have happened to it in that time. i really didn't expect to ever see it again. i even priced out a new one. :-(

however, hertz lost and found has it. :-) they are overnighting it to me. i love it when a story ends well.

i'm super sure that the karma i accrued after fishing a gold bracelet out of the toilet at marie callendar's and subsquently turning it in to a very grossed out manager pushed me over the top and enabled my camera to be returned to me. :-)

you know you're in texas when ...

the buyer on which you're calling has EIGHT dead animal heads and bodies on display in his office.

if memory serves (i almost puked) there were ...

4 elk-like heads (all had antlers)
1 full-sized turkey (gobble, gobble)
1 mountain lion / cat (kinda small, meow)
1 elk-like skull with fur on the antlers (super gross)
1 full-sized coon (as they call 'em here in texas)

i still may vomit.

cutting edge in texas?!?

i got to go through the "puffer" screener today at DFW. super fun. after i stripped down, put my life on the conveyor belt, and went through the metal detector ... i got to enter the "puffer" chamber. you get blown with air that is supposed to detect explosives. you have to hold your shirt down or you'll flash the TSA peeps. i guess you really don't have to if you want to show off your ta tas.

i wonder what happens if you fart in the chamber ...

i love weenies.

pulled over at LAX

while on the shuttle this morning, i saw a car get pulled over around terminal 2. the cop didn't not fuck around. he started yelling "get out of the car with your hands up" before the car even stopped. i guess they assume everyone is a terrorist until proven otherwise.

from terminal 4 ... lax

as expected, airport check-in was a complete clusterfuck this morning.

why aa didn't realize that travel would be heavy the day after a holiday? heck, they could have just looked at the ticket sales if they weren't sure of the impact. there were people EVERYWHERE.

i arrived at T-4 at 6 am for an 8 am flight. i've never seen so much fucking drama. no one knew where to go ... lines merged into lines that then went nowhere ... it was quite a sight. i hopped from the first class full-service line, business class self-service line and then back out to the skycaps ... which had the highest level of "which way do i go?" drama ... and FINALLY had my bag checked 25 minutes later.

(btw, if aa would get it's head of out its ass and dedicate a ticket counter to checking in bags of passengers who checked in online some of the crowds would be minimized. duh.)

security took 3 minutes. how's that for irony?

happy new year!

here's to a fabulous 2007!